I blog gluten-free

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Surely, Embarrassment Shall Follow All The Days Of My Life

I am a rather sarcastic, occasionally snotty (in the goofy, sarcastic, up-to mischief and mayhem, devil-may care way, not, "Back, heathen! Do not infect me with thy rancid breath by even breathing near me!" way.)
None of my friends has not seen me:
-Tumble down a set of stairs, most notably on my crutches when dealing with a broken pelvis in 2004
-Trip over my own two feet
-Trip over something that's not there
-Caught me dancing in my underwear, usually to "Rock the Casbah". (If you haven't, trust me, you will...or else I should start ensuring I'm alone or can hear that someone's around to avoid my spectacular shrill shriek.
-apologizing to the fridge, a sofa when it's gotten in my way
-Sending myself head long to solve a conflict. I can't stand when I do that, it leads to irritation in the end, and people need to solve their own issues, particularly, adults.

I do occasionally say something like, "Hey, Joe*, remember that shovel you borrowed from me last year?" if I sense it's time for a riveting installment of "Oh, That Silly Beth!" in a rather low voice, complete with a facial expression of "Hey, listen, I won't say anything if you won't."
I also joke that I really should start being nice, or else gathering intel of my own, to avoid a "Oh, That Silly Beth!" segment. Remember though, I'd rather be Switzerland...a place of asylum, (and what lunatics do run it!-of peace, of understanding. Of safety. The world is a crazy place, and I know, while I need to get away, I also know, many more deal with more lunacy than I.

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