I blog gluten-free

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Crescent Rolls

I adore crescent rolls... piping hot, with a good smidgen of butter and a good cup of coffee. I was a little teary watching all the Pillsbury commercials for their canned crescents, until I remembered some gluten-free ones I tried that hit the spot without setting off that awful auto-immune reaction (Basically, my body attacks gluten, contained in wheat, rye, spelt, and barley, as a virus. Hives, flu symptoms and fevers to follow!) so I asked for the recipe for the GF version, and was offered it with a smile. Now, for my nephew, I somehow have to find a substitute for butter and cottage cheese. No soy, here, otherwise I'd find a soy cottage cheese.

Gluten Free Crescent Rolls:
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) of butter
3/4 cup of small-curd cottage cheese (NOT the fat-free version!)
1/3 cup of sorghum flour
1/3 cup millet flour
1/3 cup brown rice flour
1 teaspoon of xanthan gum
1/8 teaspoon of salt
3/4 teaspoon of baking powder
1 teaspoon of sugar
1) Mix butter and cottage cheese with mixer until well-blended.
2)In a second medium bowl, mix dry ingredients. Add to butter mixture.
3)Mix until dough forms. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for two hours.
4)Preheat oven to 350 &degree; Fahrenheit.
5)Sprinkle rice flour on parchment paper
6)Roll dough into 14" circle.
7)Cut into 8 triangles with a pizza cutter.
8)Roll each, starting on the wide side, towards the narrow
9)Place on greased baking sheet and bake for 18-20 minutes.
Serve HOT!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

My Honey Do list: Keeping Busy While Grieving

Grief, like the many ways we deal with it, comes in various forms. From a death, to the loss of a relationship/marriage, we can get into some major funks.
I know... I haven't quite broken yet... I'm still in my "Gotta Be Strong When Others Aren't" stage. I'm responding with a combination of sarcasm and anger. And other odd, convoluted, and perhaps unhealthy urges.

Right now, I'm finding things to do, from converting American recipe measurements to imperial measurements for a friend in Australia whose son has autism and has been placed on a gluten-free diet, something I've heard about often, worrying about my sweet nephew and his issues at school, from an abusive teacher, kids who refuse to play with him because he is biracial, and bully him, and of course, being six and on an extremely strict diet due to the fact, that not only does his body treat gluten as a virus, attacking itself, but multiple food allergies as well, from peanuts to chocolate to eggs. We have a photo of a bruise from what seems to be a type of extreme dodgeball (With SIX year olds) when a ball was tossed directly at his head by an ADULT. Who said "He should have ducked." (And you should be castrated and dragged down Main Street.) And "Why are you worried? He's just over-sensitive". This "Over sensitive" child, has in time, curled up to me, played with my hair, and said "It's ok, I love you." Who gave me the best explanation of relationships I'd ever heard: "Aunt Beth, I know what sex is". I think I jumped 20 feet into the air at that. "Um," I said, "What do you know?" "Well, it's a special kind of cake." I continued to stare at him. "See, it's sweet, but you can only have it when you're ready, because it's too sweet for some people." I think my mouth was open for a good five minutes. I finally distracted him with a sip of the coffee he'd been begging me for and I'd kept refusing. "Where did you learn that?" "General Hospital." I face-palmed.
He's a very smart boy, and I'm a rather proud auntie.
I'm getting ready to move, and yet dreading the whole Mom-and-Wayne fight of the day, after which, my most innocent response will lead to me getting the brunt of Mom's frustration. Among other things. The woman's driving me nuts.
I'm still pissed... what should have been a wonderful goodnight, goodbye, I love you, was ruined by massive drinking, people pulling me aside to tell me "Why couldn't you get through your goodbye speech without sobbing after the third word?" (Golly, I don't know. Maybe because I'm sad?!), telling me how my Uncle George's woman is a golddigger. Look, ask my opinion, and it's well, "I don't know her enough, and it's not for me to judge.") And somehow, the meal that was safe for me, was made with regular bread crumbs. I couldn't have the pork chops either way, and I was assured my food would be safe. Hence, 2 entrees. I got classic flu symptoms and had to use an epi pen, plus go to the ER that day- and my sister got a massive case of hives. Let me fucking have more than a goodbye "By myself" in front of the open coffin... do you think it was easy crying in front of concerned relatives?
My bear like cousin, 2 months older than I, (And, at 10lbs birthweight to my barely 6, looked like he could eat me in pics we had together) helped out some, by patting me on the head and telling me I'd be OK. (If anyone else tried that, I'd bite their hand off)
So, I made myself a honey do list until I am ready to let go and lean on someone. It takes me a while.
I have framed a pic I found, all four of us busy girls, Grandma, Mom, Lorelei and I, and am looking for a frame that can hold a pic that I think measures 3.5. I think I may just use a composite frame, individuals are bigger now.
I need to get two strings of old pearls cleaned and restrung.
I'm moving. That's complete craziness, boy howdy.
My family is still driving me nuts.
I love you, but fuck, you people hurt me.
Ok, that's enough for now

Saturday, September 11, 2010


If you're a friend of mine, I'll be there for you. 
I will hold back your hair while you worship the gods of Porcelain.
If you have a cold, I will cheerfully tell you to stay the hell away from me.
Because, you know I love ya, and my chicken soup recipe, and I'll deliver the goods, with a surgical mask, but I can catch cold if someone in Timbuktu sneezes.
Now, if we're really close, I'll be there to tuck you in and all. And I promise, I won't snidely say "Well, gosh thanks. You've given me books, trinkets, drinks, food, and love, but do we have to share everything? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAchoo!"
I'll curl up with you when you're sad and need a cry.
I won't tell you if you look like a Muppet afterwards.
If your mascara is running, I'll wipe it away.
I'll fight with you on occasion. Because I am stubborner than hell and attract people who are the same way.
I'll annoy you. I'm so darned stubborn, and so darned clumsy, I can't help it. And I worry. About everything. I worry if a baby in Bumfuk Egypt needs his nose wiped. 
I'll attempt to politely and gracefully tell you you're making an ass out of yourself when you need it. On occasion, I'll be blunt and say "You horse's ass! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
I'll bake cookies with you for breakfast at 4AM. I love chocolate chip for breakfast.
I'll sit and drink coffee with you for hours on end at Denny's.
I'll split fries with you at 2AM.
I'll trust you, unless you prove you cannot be trusted.
I may not share everything about what's wrong with me, if I'm sad, but I'll try.
I promise: I'll be a snot, a brat, a goofus. I'll joke around. And I'll always share good cooking with you. 'Cause sharing is caring.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Living in a Strange World

I live in a strange world. Where wheat, barley,rye and such are to be avoided at all costs. Where blue cheese is looked at askance until I know who makes it and if it has a gluten binder. (And believe me, if it's not chunky, I LOVE blue cheese!)Lessons on living on a strict diet:
1) When family will not or cannot understand, beware even of normally non-allergenic/ glutenated items, like chicken and potatoes. Keep Benadryl and an Epi Pen on stand by.
2)Make nice with restaurants. Make them your friends. I can head over to a Pizza Hut, and have them work with me, call me by name, and give me wings I can eat, without fear, and often, free soda pop. Be polite. They're so awesome... so we need clean oil? OK! Would you like a drink while you wait? Sucks you can't have pizza here. Do you eat it? (Yes, I just have to make it myself, although I know a few places that do make a GF pizza.) That sounds interesting. See, even a typically non-celiac friendly place can work with you. It's attitude. If you're nice and are willing to work with them, it's infectious. They actually make sure I get clean counter space.

This goes for any restaurant. Be prepared to sacrifice. At one "celiac friendly" place, the advertising in the celiac community was pure puffery. My nephew and I had to make do on plain rice spaghetti, which they had to search for. What was 30 minutes for most took an hour for us. Make sure you're polite, friendly, but firm.
3)Tim Hortons asks people with allergies NOT to eat there. Ok... simple tip...the yogurt is good and safe. The coffee, unless a sadist is tossing in flour, is OK. The pamphlet asking for your abstinence is scary though. Admittedly, this is enough to make me feel like Snoopy when he tries to board a bus. Yes indeedie Mrs. McGreedie! This did indeed grab my attention. I was looking for allergy information. Not a strong suggestion that I needed to hightail out when the yogurt and coffee hadn't triggered my symptoms yet!