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Monday, April 27, 2015

Daisy, Daisy...

We like it, we love it, we loathe it.
I can, if I so choose, reach anyone in 2 seconds, instead of waiting for a week, maximum, for my beloved paper letter to arrive.

Since Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, and perhaps even before- see the original Stepford Wives- the terrors that can be unleashed by technology becoming too human, or taking over humanity, have steeped in our brains.

I have a bad habit of apologizing. Oh, I've tried to cover. "Suck it" works like a charm, provided you ease into it. On the first sibilant symbol of "Sorry" grin and say, "S...suck it."

It's not just to humans- I've offered apologies to: A cat who just stared at me like, "Lady, I make people clean up when I spit up a hair ball, and I make them feel like THEY coughed it up. I don't care.", the fridge, my sofa, the dog whom I thought was upset because I was upset- and he probably was, but he was remarkably forgiving about it.

So... back to technology.
It was a "normal" day. I did my thing, y'know. While getting dressed, I walked into the dresser. Because of course I did. It was remarkably stoic. I apologized anyway, because, one does, you know?
I had no idea that the last iOS update had tweaked a setting on my iPhone. Making it so that, when charging, Siri was active and lying in wait.
I had apologized to the dresser. This was dumb in and of itself. But I was not expecting to hear a plummy, disembodied voice say, "It's ok, Beth, we can still be friends." I suppose that the new neighbors above my head now probably know me as "The Screamer". I know them as what sounds like 15 sets of feet wearing clogs.

Well, I guess, if it helps, I have been frightened out of my wits. That should teach me.

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do...

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Viva La Brains!

Another walk on the lighter side.

It's well-known that I love brains and skulls.
That I'm a proponent of cherishing, honoring and saving them, and finding cures for what ails them.

Let's walk on the light side. Let's honor and cherish that pink, wrinkly little organ that allows us to move, eat and love. To contemplate the mysteries of the universe. To decide. :-)

Dearest Brain, I love you so much. You frustrate me, but only on occasion.
Love, Beth

Keep being weird. I <3 you, so. ~B.

So, if we are honoring our brains, how do we do it properly?
Increasing the amount per hour for epilepsy research would be lovely. At present, epilepsy research is not very cost effective, making roughly, -2¢/ hour. Epilepsy Day at Disney Land- November 5th! will donate $5 of each $90 ticket to the cause. That's not enough, surely? Can we do better? Don't we have to? Why is breast cancer- and their advertising leaves out the MEN who also are at risk for and acquire breast cancer- getting the bulk of the money? And for what? More greasy pink buckets at KFC? More pink toasters? What are we paying for, exactly?!

Start small, start simple, I guess. Rest when you need to. Eat well. Treat yourself. Don't just take it when people treat epilepsy like you just said that you didn't like their new haircut or wanted to blow something up. Speak up for yourself. Start with your body, your brain. Love your quirks. Love yourself. Practice what you preach. :-)

And... remember what Grandma always said and use a dang coaster. <3. These won't donate to research, but you'll make Grandma happy!
Thanks to Nerdist and Think Geek for the brain specimen coasters.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

In Loving Honor of the Anniversary of the Founding of Rome

The great-great-great-to infinity granddaddy of the infamous "Royal We". In which, "We comb our hair," "We put on lipstick" "We proclaim..." You Caesar, me centurion, he nurse.. er... wait...

Sunday, April 12, 2015

The Care and Feeding... Part II: the Unscientific Poll

In an informal poll of people with epilepsy, I can probably guess that an over-whelming proportion of answers to "What is your biggest trigger" will be "Stress".

In life... :

I'm actually curious to see if my theory is correct. (This is not at all scientific, although I have watched people with different disabilities, and without, for some time. It becomes second nature.  It might even be a tautology of sorts... because what causes a weapon to fire? One presses down ON the trigger. What causes one to crook their finger and fire the weapon?)

It also seems to become second nature to wonder what would happen if the unforseen event hadn't occurred. I'm afraid to say, that 12, nearly 13 years of this struggle, and I'm a bit too used to it. I can't imagine. What I've lost, has often been for the better. What wasn't, taught me a lesson that I needed, made me stronger, built... eugh... character.

How would my life be different without epilepsy?
Well, I'd never know that I could break concrete with my head. My parents joked that it'd be possible, I don't think they knew that one day, I'd test their theory. I wouldn't have seen those weird facial expressions people make when they're trying to hide their disdain. I probably would have a completely different reason to go after Doofus for taking or attempting to take away freedom. When invited to a concert, I wouldn't ask first, "Do y'all use a lot of strobes"? I wouldn't wear my sunglasses at night, which is a shame. I look FABULOUS in my sunglasses. I'm too used to it, I think. But I wouldn't have had people taken from me that I care about. I wouldn't have met more. I would have found strength elsewhere. 

What would you change? Would you? Has something negative led to a positive? I can tell you this: I am a stubborn snot monkey, who has been blessed with wonderful people who love me because I'm me, and know that I'm wonderful even if I'm not quite myself. I just wish I wouldn't have had to test it like this! 
What is your biggest trigger for seizure events?
Emotional upsets
All of the above/ other
Missed Medication
Nutritional imbalances
Please Specify:
Poll Maker

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Up in the Stars...

For a dear friend:
May the cosmos resonate with the sound of Ozzie. It hurts to lose you and your kindness here on this earth... You, who hated anyone being mean to, or hurting, another living soul. You, who have been, too many times. And never took. At the risk of this turning into  "Mandy"...
You're out of pain now. You see your mom and your brother. No more worries, no more pain.

I keep thinking of the Little Prince for you... And it's appropriate in many ways. We could stand to face the world woth wide eyes, with hope, like children again. With simple generosity. You've taught me a lot, and I'll relish your company, and Ozzie Osborne, and think of you.
Goodnight, Jamie.
Rest awhile. Thank you, for love and your gentle nature. I'll grieve not to see you here, laughing and rocking out, like a boss.

'When you look up at the sky at night, since I'll be living on one of them, since I'll be laughing on one of them, for you it'll be as if all the stars are laughing. You'll have stars that can laugh!'

And he laughed again.

'And when you're consoled (everyone eventually is consoled), you'll be glad you've known me. You'll always be my friend. You'll feel like laughing with me. And you'll open your window sometimes just for the fun of it...And your friends will be amazed to see you laughing while you're looking up at the sky. Then you'll tell them, "Yes, it's the stars; they always make me laugh!" And they'll think you're crazy. It'll be a nasty trick I played on you...'

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Epilepsy Awareness Day, 2015

There's a reference in there, regarding rather blessed sheep and knights, that doesn't make a lick of sense without a video. Meet my favorite- or unfavorite, geographically challenged crusaders . I would probably worry for the poor guy who decided that he should bring a map. These are the correct coordinates:

Right. That's pretty straightforward. 
Except: they went further into Hungary, as opposed to continuing the straightforward diagonal line south east. 
Following a goat, who had been blessed by the Holy Spirit (and proved to be a dish fit for a deity.
Then further lack of geographical skills meant that a Divine Goose was served up. If chicken is alá king, then this was- using the Mediaeval Latin of the time:
Perhaps- divino numine autem

I'm not being too picky. Emico was a bully who got his comeuppance and made a goose of himself. Maybe those animals were blessed after all, because he never made it to Jerusalem to bully more Jewish people, instead, going back home in high dudgeon.

I use this when people get lost: "Did you see ghostly Knights, a goose, and a goat out there?" 

Anyway, thanks for the help and love. My goose and goat are better map readers!

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

The Gum Wrapper Catechism

Many of us know that our green Catechism is great for: Learning to walk straight, at the risk of your noggin, seating short people so they're at the same level as the rest of us, and could possibly stand to be distilled down to:
1)Don't be a jerk
2)Don't waste that which is essential for life- ie: Food, water. Retailers should donate clothes they won't sell rather than make them unwearable. If a homeless person falls asleep outside your church- or in it, gently wake them and say, "Hey, want coffee?"
3)Be kind.
4) Be honest
5)Live simply
6) I'm trying to type this with a straight face, please bear with me. Thinking can be essential. Please give your brain exercise. Don't OVERTHINK. Over-thinking causes nothing, and accomplishes nothing but suffering. Do not cause other living beings to suffer,  and do not allow yourself to suffer, as you too, are a living human being.

Now- hyphens. Hyphens can meld together two last names, can stand for an interrupted thought, -or, train of thought- they can let people know if there's a line break and you have to cont-
The word on the next line.

But there are far too many bloody hyphens. Nice-Stalin. Anarcho-syndaclist-democrat. Let's  say a person's name is Ashley Smith-Smythe-Fogge- Featherstonehaugh-Abernathy. You're thinking "how many times have they MARRIED? Was THAT necessary?!"
Some hyphens work this way... they make me or the general you, the you in general, scratch their heads and say "What?! HOW... That..makes no sense!

Hmmm... remember Gaston the French Waiter from The Meaning of Life "?
"When I was just a little boy, my mama, she say to me, 'Gaston, my son, the world is
a beautiful place. You must... go into it, and try to love everyone. Well, it's not much of a philosophy, I know..."
Or, the advice Suri gives if she's not answering "chocolate" or "42".

Try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.