I blog gluten-free

Friday, November 20, 2015

Breaking the Same Ol' Record...

Slogans help us recognize product-
"I'd like to buy the world a Coke®™" (and keep it com-pa-ny!)
NBC has its rainbow peacock.
Breast cancer has its pink wash and its forgetting that it's not just pretty pink and it's not all sexy. (Men get breast cancer, too!)
Breast cancer isn't just pink chicken boxes and tshirts.
NoH8 has duct tape and face paint.

Epilepsy gets... Rehashed slogans.
Purple boxing gloves (Mama said, "knock you out!"- with love to LL Cool J. ❤️)
But... The memes could be applied generically.

I was inspired by the Pinterest bible. Where inspirational slogans like "Be Balaam's ass, not an ass" are superimposed over a beautiful sunset.
Insert slogan here! Freebie!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Let's be original. "Inspirational" can be a dirty word now. Let's try joyful, silly, original. It's ok to be anxious, comes with the territory. Fight for your right to party. It's not what makes "others" comfortable, but gets your fight going. Fear is natural. But gut keeps us alive and keeps us working for our health, safety, and freedom. Let's break those records and fight against our fears. Let's be original. Let's not worry that we might not be inspiring. It's we, ourselves, that we need to inspire.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Attitudes and Tips: the Short Version

There's  strange attitude that comes along with illnesses:
1) Be afraid! RUNAWAY! Everything is scary. Ack!
2) Be a little angel... Seriously. Think of Delores Umbridge from Harry Potter. Not the evil thing- that sickeningly sweet attitude. Ack. It makes my teeth hurt.
Coincidentally, the Latin words for pain or grief is dolôr or dolour. 
Ick. I'm not your angel, sweetie. I misbehave, I get downright cranky. I can do a marvelous impression of a rabid tiger with an ear infection.
3) You don't get to be impolite. Please, thank you's. It's ok - there are off days. Don't let people treat you like crap for them.
This is where it's fine to say, "dude. You're behaving like a dick."
 And finally:
4)Look at how far we've come.

This is a favorite (and perhaps mildly disgusting) article on the blood of gladiators being used as a treatment for epilepsy.
I do believe that this falls under the category of "sympathetic magic":
I did like the idea of sleeping with a strong man. That I occasionally see a Roman breast plate and uh, swoon, is not relevant here.

Rouge Classicism- Roman vampires!!

Speaking of "we've come a long way, baby"-

Remedies for epilepsy have also included:

  • Eating the heart of a black donkey outside under a full moon. No cooking method specified; I'm going to assume that it's in the style of Kevin Costner in Dances With Wolves after the deer hunt. 
  • Gladiator blood.
  • Sleeping with a strong man. None of these are as interesting as Pliny the Elder's recipes for incontinence. 
  • People are finally getting that forcing open a mouth that's clenched tightly and forcing objects into the mouth to avoid swallowing the tongue- seriously, try it. It's impossible- is a terrible idea. 
What I'm saying is:  we've come far. 
While the epilepsy research gets less than a penny per hour, new tools are appearing. New attitudes. With them, why not change what we expect from patients? No more running away from everything. 

The holidays are coming. 
Strobey Halloween parties are over. But blinky lights are OUT there. Be aware, be safe, and keep sunglasses ready. Photo sensitivity doesn't affect everyone. Nor does it bother any two people the same way. 
But holiday stress is a danger. 
I don't like using these words anymore- (self care) they've been hijacked by a really... Odd crowd. 
But take care of yourself,  and sit if you can, take up exercises you can do indoors. Exercise can be fantastic. For both preventing illness, and recovery from illness. So can sitting and resting when you need it. And nutrition. Make sure you eat properly. 

Happy holidays! 

Monday, October 12, 2015

My, What a Pretty Pickle This Is

The list of pickle puns goes on... :-) The pickle and the pepper went out to sea in a beautiful, pea-green Mason jar...

Seizures can and will act like a case of cystic acne on prom night, which... notes for Alanis Morrisette, is a lot of things:
1) A terrible coincidence
2)Positively annoying
3)Frustrating, when you know bloody well that you've got this thing... and can't do it right now, and kind of feel... imprisoned again.
But not bloody irony. 

I'm well versed on my triggers.

Are there signs and auras ahead of time? 
Once again, this is different for everyone, and not a perfect science, but some signs have shown up  enough times to be a good clue that something is rotten in the State of the Beth. 

1)Walking and tripping over my own two feet. Seriously, it's not all that comfortable, either.
2)My "Bethy, Bethy, Quite Contrary" mode. I'm usually pretty easy-going, sometimes to a fault, and have a bad habit of responding, "Ohhhh... suuure!" to things like dealing with the unpleasant, etc. Here, I become unpleasant, even for myself, which leads, quite wonderfully, to exchanges like, 
"Beth, aren't you going to buy hummus and cucumbers this week?"
"I hate Wegmans, I wanna go home, and I hate cucumbers." Imagine this in a vaguely tipsy tone. 
So a pretty good way to tell if I'm just being a giant klutz, (if you have a wall, I've probably bumped into it, sleepily apologized to it, and wished it a good morning. See also trees... I have a tendency to be a tree hugger, partially because I'm trying to avoid walking into it unaware.) is "Do you like cucumbers?" 
It's quite a lovely, pickle-y, cucumbery conundrum. 
3)Sleepier and a lot less cooperative. I never like to say the word, "can't"- my father treated it worse than swearing. I might find myself sounding like a kid who doesn't want to do their multiplication tables... irritating myself in the process.
  (I was taught to be a nice young lady--- sometimes, avoiding that can be good for me! But heavens, I was taught to be stubborn, too!)
4)Confusion of the sort that leads to tears and apologies.
5)I kind of end up wondering, "Why would these people want to be around Fitsy* McGee? 
*Note: "Fit" and associated terms are on a list of unacceptable terms. Then again, so is "epileptic" in the "Person First" nomenclature. This is hard to find in the spur of the moment. The biggest issue is not a love for gallows humor, it's that every day, strange new language seeps in, and the appropriate language ends up being hidden under "You can't say thats" and "Why would you discuss" and "Is there really so much to laugh at? I mean, do you take this seriously, at all?'s".
The answers are:
1)I have to

2)Silence kills
3)Yes. Not if I can help it.

If I'm going to run in the free air, I'm going to have to leave a few things behind- shame, what people expect me to be, to make them comfortable. Also, this apologizing thing. Sorry, not sorry.

Monday, September 7, 2015

Can Music Cure What Ails Ya?

... It's worth a shot.

Section I:Get up, get out. 
 IA:The Ramones: Blitzkrieg Bop 
  Insert your own syntax here = )
Hey, ho! Let's go! Hey! Ho! Let's go! = )
 IB: The Gorrillaz: Feel Good, Inc. It gets your fingers snapping and lets you prep for a lousy day.
IC:Barleyjuice: Pour That Whiskey
In the drinkin' song tradition, makes you move, gets you smiling.
ID: Salt 'n' Pepper: Push It
Oh, yeah... = )   

Section II: Moves Your Butt:
 II A:LL Cool J: Mama Said, 'Knock You Out'. Gets your fighting spirit moving. 
II B: The Young Dubliners: Tell Me Ma: "She is courting 1, 2, 3..." tap those tootsies. Another classic drinkin' song.  
II C: Toni Basil, Mickey.
It takes you by the heart and it takes you by the hand. 
II D: Tony Bennett and Lady Ga Ga: "Lady Is a Tramp" 
The classics are classics for a reason. 

Section III: The Covers
IIIA: Weird Al- "Ricky" It's adorable and works fantastically with the original
IIIB: The History Teachers.  Almost everything. (There's some that just don't work for me... it's at 2 out of about 100. So they have a 98% success rate with me.)
Their take on Catherine the Great is based on Poker Face and makes you move.  
 I also adore their take on Beowulf, based on 99 Luftballoons by Nena and contains actual vintage Scandinavian texts.  (It also soothes the gaping wound left behind by the season finale of Vikings on the History Channel.)

Monday, August 17, 2015

What's the Dealio?

Late research has shown that music can help lessen the severity of seizures. Woot! Is it a particular type? Like, should I make an entire list of classical pieces (Pieces, mind, not songs, because heaven forfend that one should call music by such plebeian terms.) Well, pick your poison. Which puts you into a fighty mood and gets you moving? Which calms you? We have: Exhibit A: A classic "PIECE" as brought to you by PBS, your fourth grade music teacher, Camille Saint-Säens, and Disney's Fantasia:
 Exhibit B: Autobots, rock out! Classic metal. There's a theme here.

 For me, it's both. (My musical flavors are quite a mixture!)
 And exercise can help with episodes. Please try to ensure hydration and at least 3 good meals. Protein and fats do my body good. Lots of protein. Be careful of carbs, but you'll need to ensure all is balanced. I try to get 43 grams of protein daily. I also tend to survive on hummus mixed into a lot of foods, not just with my beloved cucumbers. Start slow. More on this as it develops. What else helps me? I keep a set of these: the sound is fantastic and the ear thingies are adjustable. Only $15 and well worth every penny. Note on link: I got mine on sale at Office Max.

Skull Candy Ink'd 2 Earbuds 

If traveling, eat well, drink up. Don't be afraid to bother the airline and ask about policies. Reserve a wheel chair just in case, even if you never use it. Be cautious, be gentle with yourself, but it needn't be more of a chore to travel for you than it is for anyone else. Half the fun is getting there, they say (God, I hope not!) Ask about policies, what emergency medications are available, about training. Fill out a card for the TSA, wear medical alert jewelry. I have a heart charm bracelet and a wallet card. They will likely look for, and let you keep on a medical alert bracelet, over a necklace.

Now, dating? That's another tale, but you shouldn't have to be different from most. Yup, you'll be carting around serious meds, and no grapefruit breakfasts for you! (No Earl Grey tea, either, which kind of sucked.) Some people won't get it. Some will. Keep going. My thanks to those who've seen me go down and still are there for me. And who cheer me on... I've got a few more hurdles to go over. 

Friday, August 7, 2015

Holy Toxic Green Sewer Sludge, Batman!

I get scared when people congratulate me or say I did well. That if you show some people, they're going to ask who did it FOR me. I did really well on this thing for class... A stupid little thing that apparently, almost no one puts effort into. I'm embarrassed... It wasn't that much work. So I threw it away. When people ask my opinion or for help for things and call me a nice young lady, it's scary. "Please don't look at me. I'm not here." Like, father buying flowers for his daughter... Picks me out PROBABLY because I was the only person NEAR the bloody flowers and saw that I was interested and comparing things. I was also surprised to find that 1) Mums aren't always a ghastly dark brown/ orange color. They have light colored ones. My family seems fond of dark colors and I find them really overwhelming. I liked the white, pink, and purple ones a lot. The toxic sludge green ones, though... I was surprised to see how many decor ideas involved them; they look like boogers on a stick. (The other name of my imaginary heavy metal band, if Demonic Splurge is taken.) 2)That being asked to help, offering help, and even suggesting: "does your daughter like all sorts of flowers? There's really cool cacti outside that doesn't cost very much" is bad, and somehow I sinned. Is "there's cacti outside" some sort of sexual slang I don't know about? All I did was try to help some poor dude who knows nothing about girly things buy a stupid present for his daughter (I was the only person there, until my mother showed up from somewhere else in the store. I am never letting her make me go shopping after our weekly dinner out EVER AGAIN. Dinner, appointment, home. She will never "help" me again.) I didn't know that I was being bad and proud. I thought I was helping. Then I had to explain what "cacti" is to my mother (I know she's smarter than that! That horrible creepy woman who appeared one day like a Mexican night induced fart in the night and refuses to dissipate, really gets into every crevice of her mind and she won't show the person that actually tries and thinks!) and wonder what she THOUGHT I meant. I had to actually draw her a damn diagram! She is insisting that I never say that I want to speak for myself again. I intend to keep filling her head, because now, it's personal.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Neurons and Fortissimo, and Adagio... Oh, My!

Music and neurology:
Do they go together like a horse and carriage?

I was fascinated, some time last year, by the image of a man undergoing brain surgery while playing the banjo (it sounds like a House plot point... in fact, I think they did something similar with a piano keyboard and a "savant"- someone who might not be able to be trusted to tie their own shoes or to go across the street, but can play music that would make Calliope, the muse, cry in joy.)
This man is not a savant, but his music is beautiful. Last night, Youtube threw me a recommendation that made my ears perk up: (It's opera, which is on the other end of the scale, musically, but my rather eccentric music lists tend to throw folk, opera and metal at me as a matter of course.) Stephen Fry, and his cohost on QI, which I recommend for everyone, meet for opera, and to discuss music and the nervous system with a group of varying neurologists. Davies is known to PLAY the part of the childlike, charming idiot (A part also played to perfection by Fry's 30+ year colleague, Hugh Laurie prior to his American debut. It's what makes House a bit... disturbing and weird for me.) This is a definite front, despite Davies looking a lot like a sweet, curly puppy. His reaction to opera is innocent, wide eyed, and you can definitely see his reactions. What does music do to us? What does music do FOR us? I think everyone's experience is going to be different... this is really obvious, but my spine might tingle hearing "Danse Macabre", while someone else might think, "Yeah, yeah, dancing skeletons, yawn, we had to watch this in 4th grade." (I saw one version with dancers in sheer browns and greens... very beautiful. You have the motif where it's very soft and sweet, and Death's violin isn't playing a creepy dance, but accompaniment to love.)Your spine might find Metallica partnering with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra to be tingle inducing. (It IS interesting, I'll admit, but it was in the sell out stage. ) What makes you move, what makes you close your eyes in joy? Does it heal your mind and body?