- Chinese farmers overuse growth chemicals on watermelons
- Whammo! Blammo! Watermelon explodes.
A slightly more fleshed-out version?
It is late in the Chinese watermelon growth season. It is also wet, nasty weather. Rather do what is correct, farmers attempted to accelerate growth with hormones, that caused the fruit to burst. The affected fruit will be chopped up and fed to fish and pigs, among others. Be careful when you eat pork or fish dishes, I suppose!
Sweetheart & imp that this evil, bratty boy is, he chose to preface it with a comment:
They're literally exploding! Apparently Chinese farmers, who are already VERY liberal with pesticides as it is, are applying growth hormone to the watermelons while it's raining, and it's late in the season. This is causing them to literally explode. And just think: most of the shrimp you eat and the toys your kids play with comes from China. Now sleep better at night.
I told him:
thanks so much to the friend with the exploding watermelon story. Not only will I NOT be going near watermelon any time soon, but I'm probably going to dream of anthropomorphic, super-villain watermelon creatures who show the scars of exploding and spread pesticides and growth hormones everywhere. Thanks,
so much, not like my dreams aren't bizarre already!
To further comfort me, he told me I was welcome in his way, and we then had banter, after I informed him that he's an evil man! We came to the conclusion that this is awful. We also discussed the great beauty that comes from being mischievous and impish.
Scared as all hell... let's face it, it is true, 100%- (That is, is 100% true THAT many products are Chinese in origin, not that all products are from China. But a majority.) many of our products are manufactured in China, where they do so much differently, and sometimes dangerously. But at least... we can still see humor in imagining a 1980's-style-cartoon (think Killer Tomatoes, oversized anthropomorphic tomatoes destroy whole cities) with scarred, exploded but semi-intact watermelons.