Ten Nine Eight...

It's true that I feel I've been a bit tagged out on Facebook...don't get me wrong, I adore figuring people out in any which way I can, but it isn't often I see anything new and different that makes me think, makes me dig.
(It's also true that I'm posting this in the wee hours of the morning. Don't worry- I settled on a half and half caff, and should get those pesky days and nights worked out soon!)
This tag does make me think, because while I seem open, there are always things I may or may not say out loud!

TEN THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY TO 10 DIFFERENT PEOPLE
1)Take care of you, too. I'm OK, I'm a big, tough girl!
2)Fuck you, you fucking fuck. You know who you are.
3)In my childhood, I said "I hate you" and immediately felt bad, because it felt wrong. But thanks to you, faithless preachers, I now know what passionate hatred feels like. You taught me HOW to actually hate, not just to say it in anger.
4)I'll forgive you, eventually, it hurts that I haven't been able to, yet.
5)You're not some nice guy who occasionally offers a few beers to the kids. You're a pedophile and an asshole. May you rot in hell.
6)Thanks, you never will know just how grateful I am.
7)I can't believe how often you tell me that you look up to me for my strength. You don't seem to know that I use you as an example, you're a survivor in so many ways!
8)Girl, he's no good for you. You ARE beautiful and wonderful, someone WILL love you. Dump him!
9)Tell me something, as a Seventh Day Adventist, you're not supposed to drink, smoke or have premarital sex, and I don't think turkey bacon counts as "kosher"- what gives you the right to preach to ME?
10)My Angel of Mischief, you don't know how much I miss you. Love you!

NINE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF
1) My eyes go from blue to gray to green naturally. Often it's a sort of mixture.
2)I'm a rather stubborn little thing.
3)If I had to choose an absolutely favorite animal, I'd have to pick the "elly- pant"- elephant- although I love butterflies, too.
4)One of my top 5 favorite songs is "Try, Try, Try" by the Smashing Pumpkins, but I hate the video.
5)I have conductive hearing loss. I'm extremely high functioning, but I have a few give-aways. It all began when I was young. I'm grateful I can hear what I can.
6)In November, I go through a period where I tend to be mildly dark- I don't like my "Emo" moment, so I try to find ways to get through it before I make myself angry at my poor attitude.
7)Hi, My name is Beth, and I am a caffeine addict!
8)With no. 5 having been said, often I listen to music on high, flat on my belly. Sometimes those big old headphones from the 80s help, but right now, I sometimes, sacrifice sound for feeling.
9) I'll read nearly ANYTHING, at least once. If I like it, a thousand times. I can't help reading fast, sometimes I have to break it down so I can really soak it in.

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART
*In some way, show me how music affects YOU. You don't just sit stoically and nod your head here or there, do you?
*Humor. Of all kinds. Look how odd mine is!
*Enjoy the sweet and simple.
*Honesty
*Respect
*Have a sense of honor and duty.
*Enjoy the feeling of getting lost among the smells of books at the bookstore with me
*Understand that I'm stubborn and will not be easy for you!

SEVEN THINGS THAT CROSS YOUR MIND A LOT
*How can I really reach her?
*How do liars manage to seemingly outpopulate those with scruples?
*How is it that we still have prejudice, and why are so many bigots just flaming idiots?
*Wait- how do I say that? Why is everyone attempting to gently hide a smirk?
*Maybe I am too sensitive
*Oh, my God- stupid people are funny...from a distance!
*I really need to how to give an honest, genuine smile.


SIX THINGS YOU WANT TO HAPPEN TO YOU BEFORE YOU DIE
*I'll see the ocean as large as life again
*A lot.
*Finally get my psych degree
*I want to be able to say "Go screw yourself" bluntly to a few people.
*To actually relearn enough ASL that I am comfortable with it. I am still not quite comfortable in any language.
*I want to forgive.


FIVE TURN OFFs
Assholes
Not understanding that there is a time and place for everything
Insisting that faith makes me an idiot.
Inflated sense of self worth
anyone who attempts to control me


FOUR TURN ONs
long walks on the beach
Candlelit dinners
A good,  perhaps sarcastic,  sense of humor
Gentleness.

THREE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE
Veni Vidi Vici. (Or, in present tense: I WILL conquer.)

TWO THINGS YOU WISH YOU NEVER DID
A.
Lot. 
But, regretting instead of learning from these screw ups would be really stupid!

ONE CONFESSION
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, it's been a fortnight since my last Confession.

(No sacrilegious intent, it's an automatic impulse.)
Sometimes, I have a few moments, where I'm more of a storm cloud than a sunbeam.