I blog gluten-free

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Regrets. If asked about mine, I tend to say, "Oh, why look back?" I have to be honest: Sure, I've got them.
10: Being infatuated with this Kurt Cobain lookalike all through highschool. He was after all, my first kiss... he stole a kiss at my sophomore Homecoming. (He was obvious, I was... frightened enough to squeak.)  Looking back now, that sucked too! When I dated him years later, I realize he preferred being the misunderstood loner who took no part in actually fixing the issues he complained about! He annoyed me, and that was over Pretty Darned Quick!
But he played 7 instruments, including bass... swoon...
Quite a few of my regrets could be as obvious as the nose on your face. We'll not look at those.
9) Not learning how to stand up for myself before I took the crash course at the School of Hard Knocks.
8) For the longest time, saying "no" was difficult for me and got me into trouble.
7)Playing with "Dark Auburn #50" at age 14. I looked like Lucille Ball was bleeding from the head. Strawberry blond, my natural color until about age 6, works best for me. And by this I mean more blond than pink.
6)Chopping my hair short for the swim team because caring for chlorine-damaged hair got to me and I let scissors near my head before I thought twice.
5)Letting people lead me into trouble. I used to be this quiet little thing who would take whatever people hashed out, as long as I was just getting into the outside world.
4)Not doing the dice-chop-peel and removal of bad friends sooner. I had to separate the wheat from the chafe, and when I did, it still hurt like hell.
3)I used to feel guilty about things I hadn't done. I still occasionally apologize without realizing it. Every so often, I even will bump into my coffee table or my fridge and say "I'm sorry" before I think about it.
2)Not getting tested for Celiac Disease prior to October '09. It took nearly needing surgery on my intestine and bladder to scare me enough to say "This is not just a milk allergy. Something is screwing me up." That, and concerned people who noted that I was not just white, I was bluish, with heavy circles under my eyes, and could not keep food down.
1)Letting doctors prescribe heavy medications---at one point, a medication I was given to prevent nightmares (Also known as doping you up to enable dream-less sleep) left me zombified and feeling like each leg weighed 90 pounds. I was very pleased with myself when I told that one bastard doctor off!
I don't  regret that my choices, my hard times, my dances in the dark have taught me extremely valuable lessons. I don't regret that I see my mistakes as a lesson that I needed to learn. I think in every life, we should have an opportunity to screw up. The clincher is, learning from it, not hurting others, and not repeating it over and over again.
I don't regret that I'm the goofball that I am. Indeed, that I can be silly and dorky, crack jokes, and be me, is a major miracle!

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