Trolls and Goats Named Gruff

I know NOTHING about trolling. As far as I know, they live under bridges and talk to goats named Gruff. But... I know a little SOMETHING about  common sense and not bringing down bullshit to hurt others in the name of "fun". Sure, I can be friends with just about anyone. God knows, I occasionally delight and amuse a few by telling them to quit breathing fire and calm down, or calling them douches... (They, in return act very shocked if I cuss.) Sure, I'm "nice:" and don't normally complain. This is why, when I've been hurt in life, people worried more. But I don't like hypocrites, I don't like weaklings. If you inform me that you said something about myself and 3 others, bring it to me. It is not just I who stands to be hurt or molested by someone, but others. If I offer you chances to bring it back to me, shout back when I tell you off, be a man and do so. Don't send me "Anonymous gifts" and ask if I'm hungry, don't fan the "Beth must be anorexic" fire, (I can take jokes about eating, I think they're bloody hilarious.) And don't think it's funny that you now have me frightened.
I tell people often: "Don't piss on my face and tell me it's raining"... meaning, don't try to fool me. I'm not an innocent, I will tell you off. And some of those words will be very naughty, indeed. You wanna fuck with me? Ok, here goes: Be a man. Stand up. Own it.
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi, qui me ex versiculis meis putastis, quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. Nam castum esse decet pium poetam ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est; qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem, si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici, et quod pruriat incitare possunt, non dico pueris, sed his pilosis, qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos. Vos, quod milia multa basiorum legistis, male me marem putatis? Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.
In English, this is a rather filthy ancient poem by Gaius Valerius Catallus.
Said right, the top part has a nice swing to it:
Fuck you both and suck my dick
Swishy Aurelius and queeny Furius
For thinking me, because my verses
are rather sissy, not quite decent.
Although the true poet should be pure
himself, his poems don't have to be.
Indeed, they have only flavor and charm
if they are sissy and indecent
and when they can incite arousal,
I don't speak of boys, but big hairy guys
who have difficulty moving their limbs.
You, because you've read of my many thousand kisses
believe that I'm not really manly?
Fuck you both and suck my dick.
From: Catallus
So, sunshine, it's like this: Never frighten a person who is generally not one to lose their temper. The results can be horrifying.
Love,
The Sunbeam