"Gosh, you're really nice, you know that?"
I giggle when I'm told that. Really? I once told a rather nasty person who was insulting whatever disabilities they could see or make up, while disguising it as "You know, just because I care and all- God tells us to care for the animals..." WHAT?! I actually wiggled an earlobe with my finger because golly, I wasn't hearing correctly. Was I just categorized as an animal? You know, what is said to be at the mercy of mankind, a possession? I am no puppy dog, nor a beast of burden- "Ok, hold on here. I've had enough of you. You can take your false kindness, your false Christianity that you speak of so often- and you can shove them firmly up your ass."
That and- well, when most think of a nice girl or guy, they see either a doormat, or what I've seen. A lot of veneer, no substance, and the capability to give the nastiest insult while attempting to "give the greatest compliment". "Nobody can/will love/ put up with you as I do". See where this sounds really wrong and sinister? In my opinion, and experience, those claiming to be the poor nice person who finishes last and gets all the heartache is actually capable of dishing out the worst hatred and most pain, physical, emotional, sexual, whatever. Indeed, a lot of sadistic people I know tend to start out being just "nice". I don't like people who are mean for meaness' sake either. But if you're too nice, I'll be watching you very carefully. So many put people on a pedestal and then gleefully knock them down.
Look, I know... I seem all gentle and sweet. I hope to hell it's genuine. I'd hate to hurt someone again. But I cannot, will not, use that to hurt another. I hope to never ring false in someone's ear or become a horrible banshee with barbed words. So yes, if I need to, I will attempt to honestly and diplomatically put someone in their place... "Hey, knock that shit off"... (Probably a lot less gruff than that)- rather than "I tell you that you're an idiot because I care."
*This diatribe brought to you by a pre Christmas yelling match on cooking onions that woke me up.