Dark Day in May

Back in May, I suffered one particularly nasty day.
First, I dealt with those who should listen, being deaf to whatever I attempted to say. I ended up having to again, fight for myself, and losing a lot in the process. A family friend who had been helping had just died in Hospice, and I was feeling rotten about that... that they'd been working so hard for me as cancer stole them from this world. And I, anxious me, had probably not made it easy for them.
I had an anxiety attack, in public, which I hate, which sprung from dealing with my ex-husband, something I never like to do, and him attempting to hug me... after I'd been somehow backed, literally, into a corner. (The old Hugger-Mugger thing... I remembered a lot of what had been done, and my brain turned off logic) I began to hyperventilate and cry, my mother, I could hear dimly, telling me I was embarrassing everyone. But, certain people or types go to touch me, and I get frightened.

That done, I had an empty heart and a mother who, I felt I had to apologize to for not feeling well and not being a good lil' trooper.
I started praying, crying, "What the hell? I know you said you'd be there... that while you DO give us burdens we can't handle, that you're there with us! Where were you when  I needed someone and my own mother was not able to help me!"
It was almost sunset, and I sat, talking with a friend who had not been able to help me physically that day, but who was making sure I was OK... and composing angry letters to God in my head. And out of nowhere, a beautiful sunset, the classic rays coming down out of the dark, into the peachy pink began.
It seemed to me like He said "Peace, my anxious and doubting child, I've got this covered. I know what I'm doing."