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Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 Closes With the Day Of the Boobs

I'm OK... I can still type, if not speak entirely coherently. I am currently praying my Excedrine holds out... and that I don't sleep through my wash load!
I was grateful for a chicken soup delivery, gluten free, with a few jalopeno bits... (No, not HOT... but it definitely kicks butt). The same person kind of wanted a pretty little sexy doll as arm candy at a Recovery Mixer. As alcohol is not an issue for me, and because I feel pain, I attempted to make it clear... it's old TV night again. And I want to drink a bit. I'm walking a bit drunk now, and feel showing up @ AA in that state, them not knowing my issues, would be a bad idea! Plus, while I want to help the Haps out as much as possible, sorry, dude, yet again you fall into "Nice Guy, BUT" territory. "BUT" being, I see you as a friend, you treat me like you would a sister (Call me "kid", one more time, I dare ya!) and you DATED MY SISTER 10 YEARS AGO! Awkward, much? When I told her about perhaps modelling for Hapsburg T-shirts, she asked dryly, "Wet or dry?"
All's not bad. Went to Victoria's Secret at last, and got a true fitting. I didn't know I was a size small! And discovered I've done a lot of shrinking in many departments. (I kind of figured that.)
So, small steps! I have properly fitted foundations now :) It's a start.
I got mad enough to do a lot of things in frustration. Because it's been brewing. I already lost to food this week. And I had an anniversary of a bad event 7 months ago on Christmas...so I'm really not myself.
I can has rant? I should be delighted... honored that I've been invited to the big Addiction Recovery Mixer. But... a friend, or I thought, wants a girl on his arm... I'd be thrilled with skirts, and heels, if I didn't have scoliosis or nerve pain and a tendency to waver right now, like I'm uh... drunk. I hurt, the nice weather is causing pressure on me, fuck it, I'm not arm candy, this guy is a friend, yes, but someone I thought of as merely that, or a business thing, what with helping out the T-Shirt company. I don't feel pretty, because I feel I have to dress big to cover my skeletal defects and the way my back curves. And I wanna sit on my ass, drink, and watch Lucy. Happy New Year to me.
 I was tired and out of it too... and hurting... I don't like "damp"... he said the old "Once an addict always an addict", I'm afraid I tossed "Once a drunk always a drunk" at him. I also called him a boob. I think he took it well, he thanked me.
You boob, it wasn't a compliment... I WAS MAD! 

3 comments:

  1. Well, you might not be arm candy, but you are sweet! I understand the pain. Unless you've been through it, you can't understand. Depression and pain meds were my addiction - that makes for a New Year's Eve with Lucy sound perfect. You go girl and make yourself first. Happy New Year, Baby!

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  2. Happy New Year, Melanie. Yup, I'm taking time off... got to do my thing, or else I can't be help for anyone, including me. I'll party sometime, get the "Yucks" out first!

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  3. Well, you might not be arm candy, but you are sweet! I understand the pain. Unless you've been through it, you can't understand. Depression and pain meds were my addiction - that makes for a New Year's Eve with Lucy sound perfect. You go girl and make yourself first. Happy New Year, Baby!

    ReplyDelete