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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Falling and Forgiveness

I'm butchering a rather sweet, honest, if not naive, statement.

Jerks will always be among us. All we can do is love them
I won't go into anything that says "In spite of everything..." because I am nowhere near the type of person who can honestly say that.
Not right now. I know, in my heart, that the jerks are out numbered, although it doesn't seem like it, by the genuinely kind. That even jerks teach valuable lessons. And we can learn to not give a damn sometimes, when we need to protect ourselves.
I will not give into hate, or fear. I will accept a bad moment, where fear got to me... I think "We are not given a spirit of fear" has not been drummed into my head nearly enough.

 Just in case:

What did I do? How did I let myself get dragged down when I was working on a sense of peace and calm? How did I let the jerks win this time? Why? When I had other, better things to do, when I could have tended my own garden rather than worry that someone decided to dump fresh manure on someone else's roses, I screwed up and gave in to anger. After all the pep talks to myself. God help me... I gave myself more stress, more to worry about, more to fear. Talk about two steps back. But... I need to be nicer to myself. I need to allow myself to be human, with all that entails, and forgive my screw ups. I can't let myself fall back. No... Hi me... I forgive you, too. Let's get going.


  1. Loving yourself for who you are is always the first step. Jerks hate themselves, so they act like jerks to hide it.



  2. Thanks Avy Stanford :) <3 will try to send a follow when Blogger lets me... that's touch and go. Something tells me I never could give up wanting to see the best in people, so there's that. But first to see the best in me.