Bring Me a Gladiator

"What do you do when nothing else has worked?"
Let's see... I've had the "Mind over matter" method... this doesn't really relieve anything, but it gets me out of a bad place where I'm quick to go after people who, to their defense, may be well-meaning... no, really, I don't enjoy being tugged or pulled, and sometimes, if I'm dozing in a car with sunglasses on, it simply means that the power of the automobile has lulled me to sleep, and tapping me and asking in a worried voice if I'm ok, may make me squirrely. (I'm really not at my best, first waking up... I recently got a groggy phone call (on my part) where I asked 1)Who are you? 2) Who am I? 3)What time is it? ("Well, I'm glad one of us knows. I'm going back to sleep before I say something horrid. Call me at a reasonable hour. Oh... are you bleeding?"- stemming from the fact that other than those who can get a hold of me anytime... everyone else had better be in jail, or bleeding if they wake me up.)
There's been pharmacopia.... (A veritable cornucopia of failed drugs, all of which have caused exciting symptoms... from rashes to a swollen face and throat, to anaphylaxis, to just making the problem worse...) there's been repeats of drugs I dread the name of. (I think my doctor might end up just having his head explode the next time I tick off "Allergic reaction, allergic reaction...")

But before the days of barbiturates (thank you, Bayer, 1860) and phenol, of Topiramate and Levetiracetam, what was there?

As this clip tells you, in its' more childlike, accessible and amusing way, the blood of a dead gladiator. (The blood of a strong man can help the body of the weak, or so goes the logic.)






 Sure, it's mentioned in the very bare minimum. Also, I have a tendency to pull off the dramatic "hailing" to break through gloom when discussing all this.

Mind Hacks

Between the first and the sixth century a single theological and several medical authors reported on the consumption of gladiator’s blood or liver to cure epileptics. The origins of the sacred or apoplectic properties of blood of a slain gladiator, likely lie in Etruscan funeral rites... _

From what I can see, if I so chose, I could take in the blood of an executed criminal. A bit unsavory in its' late practice in the early 20th century, and more so now with risks of pathogens.

See also: Roman Vampires!

So, to modernize this, could I use, say, an American Gladiator? I wouldn't necessarily have to share fluids or even disrobe. Could I feasibly use them for warmth and healing by talisman (sort of the idea in "lucky charms" worn by patients, I'd think)--- by sleeping next to but not with? Is it gross if I ask "Where is Russell Crowe when I need him?"
Tonight, I'll dream of shields and breast plates. And the men in between them.