I blog gluten-free

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Raspberry Tossed Salad and Huck Finn

I am occasionally, accidentally saying something filthy. I occasionally misread or misuse phrases that are most inappropriate!
*Living Without Magazine, a favorite and one the GF community can prize, just put out a new recipe. "Raspberry tossed salad". I am not even tempted, this time, because my brain processed these words as---well, something really filthy! It reminds me of when I was 20, with a boyfriend who told me to ask for whatever I liked. Not knowing the phrase was not about a conversation with an um, cunning linguist, innocent me says "Will you please toss my salad" rather than asking for what I thought I was asking for. I jumped off the bed and asked "What the hell?!" when he obliged! He was laughing at me when he had to explain just what I'd really asked! And raspberry... well, you and I all know, that can work as a synonym for the anus, as well as a noise made by Archie Bunker that has a flatulent tone to it.
*I know of a church that advertises AA meetings. Directly beside that is a sign that reads "Drink deep from the well of life" Um, isn't that WHY the AA meetings are held? People drank too deep! And fell in.

*They are editing Huck Finn. This is a bloody disgrace. You can pull anything not politically correct out of any book. The Bible would not exist if they tried that.
"So the 19th century author talks of an escaped slave known as Jim". "Yeah, but there's this other word next to his name". "Yeah, that, can't have that!" Look, I hate the "N" word. I will not use it. But editing Mark Fucking Twain? Are you fucking kidding me?! What about in Tom Sawyer, when Tom irritates his aunt, and she "ejaculated" (or spluttered in anger)? What of the middle school kids who will giggle because we don't use "ejaculate" in that sense anymore?! Mark Twain thrived on flipping what was "correct" on its' head. He wrote of his times as HE knew them! Back then, you could BUY humans. Women did not vote. Men were men, blah blah blah! To edit Mark Twain is to kill his works. The classics die when they who hold the blue pencil or red pen, are allowed to run willy-nilly!
No, New South, you are "not rendering Huck and Tom colorblind" "race matters", etc... but you are removing words from the author's mouth to please politically correct purists who cannot read a few racial phrases without succumbing to the vapors! How about removing "She had the fits"- might piss off epileptics! "She's crazy", oh noes, what of mental patients?! Sit on it and spin, you politically correct, namby pamby, panty-waisted, lily-livered, fiends. Protecting your sensitive lil' old eyes from a bad word lest you just die is not worth killing a classic.
"We are not rendering Huck and Tom color-blind" just impotent

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