Another Day--- Forgiving Myself

When Marie Antoinette was led to the guillotine to die, she accidentally stepped on her executioner's foot. She actually offered up an automatic apology, "Monsieur, I am very sorry, I did not mean to".
I actually fell prey to my more melancholic side this week. I apologized to almost everyone and everything. Minus me. I always thought I was supposed to be bright and cheery... and you know, I'm expected to be a *gulp* "Good girl".
Really!
A list of things I have apologized to in my life
Every single friend I've had, at least once. They generally say, "What?"
The couch. About 900 times, in almost 28 years, last counted.
Doors. No really. I actually HAVE walked into doors.
People I accidentally ran into with my tendency to walk with a longer stride than normal... at one point, I had a five foot speed demon to keep up with, and moved accordingly!
The refrigerator. I actually recently had to laugh at myself for this. It's really silly and I think Whirlie feels no pain.
Anyone caught in cross fire, when "country business" mixed with general winter moody blues.
My family. Generally, "Sorry I screwed up." Because as of yet, there are still hints that I apparently achieved the unforgivable with some people. It's been worse since I went on a restrictive diet, apparently just being a baby looking for weight loss. And stupid me, I actually apologized that I needed to.
-Bemused strangers.
-Dogs
-People in restaurants when I have had issues.
-My brother once, who informed me that being a sick preemie was not what this family needed and I screwed it all up. Turns out he got drunk and unloaded on me. Still, I ended up apologizing because he made me mad! And I called him a selfish shit, that used his golden-boy status to do what he wanted, while I did all the work and he got to be the Sunshine Child.
-People who had hurt me, because I thought at times that I was wrong to be hurt by them, after all, I'd sure screwed up good so many times!
But, this New Year, I'm giving myself a gift, after all, I have a birthday in 2 months, why wait? Dear Me, I forgive you. Pull your head out of your ass and look around you. You can't do it all. You need to rest sometimes. No, you're not perfect. No one is. Family is family, but remember kid, stick close to those who support you, you deserve more. I love you. Now go put on your big girl panties, and keep your country matters from turning you into a snot.
Love, Me!