I blog gluten-free

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Making Grape Juice From Lemons

I’m a little lamb who’s lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who’ll watch over me
-Someone to Watch Over Me

In these past almost 28 years, I have met wolves a plenty. I've faced a lot of health issues, walked through hell, occasionally with someone on the narrow path next to me, holding a hand- and I cannot thank them enough! I'm facing a yearly issue right now... my kidney apparently attempting to assert its' dominance: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny! And he's MAD!" Same antibiotic, that generally gets added in higher and higher doses that happens when the issues from '06 rear their ugly heads.
This little lamb is...well, tired. I see so many people consistently hurting... and of course, some exhaustion comes from fighting massive kidney infections. And of course, fighting with thirst...thirst... ugh... I always did consider this the last temptation of Christ. Luckily, no one is feeding ME vinegar on a sponge!
But you know, as hard as life gets, being sick, living between two worlds, and really never feeling like I belong to either, like I can't quite make people happy... I am content and thrilled that every time a bad prognosis... I was supposed to die in my first 24 hours for example- has been made, I've beaten it. I got my gut and strength from people who, not realizing I'd used their example, have lauded me for "Making lemonade from the lemons life hands me". But that's no miracle! A miracle is not making lemonade out of the lemons handed. That just needs some sugar, or it's rather piss-poor lemonade. I can, with the help I've gotten, and with faith, make GRAPE JUICE out of lemons. Lordy me, that IS a miracle.
I've faced wolves, as I've said... looked into the eyes excited and gleaming with sadistic glee, looked at the shining fangs and bleeding maws... and have survived.
I have goals I'm slowly achieving, though slowed down some by illness and a small loss in my eye-hand coordination, and while I always am very sad to see the world hurt people over and over, I know, I can give care... and to myself, first.
I am going to make grape juice from my lemons :) This little lamb may occasionally get a bit lost, but I always find my way.

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