If I take all of the advice handed out, I would be frankly, A)going against my own self-preservation B)be very contorted, as I would have managed to somehow do two opposite things at once.
I can't hide from anything in the past. It is what it is. (As much as that is a horrifying and meaningless statement.)
I have to move forward. Herein lies that particular bargain I made with myself. That if I need something done, then I am not going to simply wait, but get it done.
While, perhaps, I have no filter, I am capable of restraining myself to an extent. This is why I prefer to give myself some time to breathe. If I were absolutely not capable, some things I was thinking would have been said in full fury. Among other things, if you tell me I should read the Art of War and The Prince, and apply them to my life (I do hope that the person giving that advice realizes Machiavelli was being sarcastic.), I would hope that you do not do the exact opposite.
I stopped myself before "Be a man," and "Seriously, dude, I'm buying you a binkie for Christmas." But... in this new deal... where, if I know, that it isn't right, it is being worked upon and improved, that isn't sitting, but is, instead, changing for the better, or being dropped if it has to be, the advice to be tougher is good, to an extent. It's also a double-edged sword if you choose to use my "sensitivity", health, etc. as your weapons. I also choose not to become bitter or hard. I won't take the crap life has to offer and say "That is all there is." I will climb the shit mountain.
There are things I am not humanly capable of handling. There are some things that arise by virtue of humanity: anger, worry, fear, whatever. (Do I dare make a long list?)
And no, I won't hold back here: If you are a 39 year old man, you should not be hiding behind your mommy's skirts. If you cannot say "Here is my issue" to the person you have a problem with, while it is small, and actually work on it, while it is small, which I hoped to do... I am trying to kill off the small problems before they are big problems... there is a problem. Talking big and being aggressive won't do you justice when you have that problem. It's a kitten trying to roar.
I'm not necessarily infuriated with anyone--- I'm just saddened that exists! That helps no one. That's no way to live. Do you really want to spend your life as a living embodiment of Freud's specious, and really, rather silly philosophies?