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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Give My Regards to Hippocrates

I am hoping to pull myself back and get to my cheery, cheeky self... I hate when I hit the Pit of Despond. Before that, basic notes, just in case.

"We like to keep a watch on our thinner patients taking Topomax as it's got a tendency to stall appetite"... Well, my goodness, you are doing a fan-freaking-tastic job!
 Yelling at a patient who is asymptomatic that day but still tender is a bad idea, as you may have noticed when I almost fell out of my chair... it wasn't just shock and surprise. Do you know what loud noises do with the varying types of headaches?!

You have complained that
(A) I am sensitive to many anti-seizure drugs. Have you ever thought that I might process any drug differently, as a result of having less than the full compliment of inter-body filtration systems?!
(B) My CAT scans are 5 years old. In this case, it's not a bad idea to redo them
(C)Correct me if I'm wrong, but medical equipment that is a decade+ old is outdated, right? And "Inconclusive" usually means "You might want to retry that."

While symptoms getting worse is not your fault, although having an answer and perhaps something to keep me in check, rather than having to deal with both pain and medication side effects (Ps... the lecture on Lamictal, which we've discovered I am allergic to... some of those arguments were used for another Bayer Pharmaceuticals product in 1900. You may have heard of it, it's called heroin.) would possibly be effective therapy. You have a duty to ensure I am in the least pain possible. That I am treated as a human being.

 Your patient should not have a fever, chills, shaking, anxiety and worsened episodes as a result, or be screamed at, as I was, for reporting such. I should not be frightened of you.

I understand wait times. It's why I'm always prepared. But 30 minutes past appointment time waiting to be called simply to give my insurance information, an hour and a half by myself, and five minutes of an appointment in your enlightened presence, oh Hippocrates, (I am not worthy! I am not worthy!) seems a little odd to me.

I am terrified to fill out information sheets. I am terrified to list anything!

I do not feel like I am getting an exam. While I am in pain, I feel as if I am being watched, I feel disgusted with myself by absorbing your attitude, I feel humiliated. When you take my pulse, when you ask me to squeeze your hands, I feel like I've touched something filthy.
I cannot continue with your fine and enlightened presence.
My regards.

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