Holy Wild Geese

Once upon a time, there was a very brave and very smart knight named Count Emico of the Rheineland. In his day, the Crusades were a big thing, and Emico, tired of simply breaking into priests' houses and killing off refugees, and being greedy, decided he wanted a piece of the action. Off he went with his brave knights, on their way to the Holy Land, to accomplish the task of "ridding the Holy Land of the Jews". (Emico was charming like that.) Well, off he and his men trotted, good Christian knights all. And like all good Christian knights, they were soon visited upon with a miracle. It was no less than a goose filled with the Holy Spirit. Off they trotted after wise Mother Goose, who probably wondered, "What are these idiots in clanking chain mail doing?" in her little goosey brain. She was a smart goose, honk, honk, and she managed to lead our sage heroes to Hungary.

(Now, if Emico leaves the Rheineland at 12:45AM on the 3rd, and heads southeast, and train B leaves Minnetonka... he eventually reaches the holy land... provided he isn't following Mother Goose.) Having gotten sidetracked and led to the north instead, Emico did the smart and logical thing one does when one has embarked on a literal wild goose chase. They had a nice goose dinner. Then they consulted a map... oh... erm... another knight brought him a little she goat that had been filled with the Holy Spirit. So they followed her. Again hopelessly lost, they ate her. 

Sometime later, rather boringly, our heroes, apparently not having absorbed the Holy Spirit with their nutrients, finally reached home. Having never reached the Holy Land. 

And they all lived happily ever after.

Ps. It's the only sane knight that I'm sure was included in the bunch, that has me thinking of a knight actually consulting a map... "Hey, um, I have a map right he--- uh, you ate the goose and the goat... uh, you know what? Map? I didn't say 'map'. Lead on."