*I am intending that this be general, to an extent. I do have to make a retraction, but on the whole, I vent on a general level, and am not generally intending to hurt or malign any particular entity.
Among other things, I haven't got in me for anger or personal battles, which would sap the remaining energy out of me. Nor can I focus backwards... on everything that went wrong and what I'd do and say to fix it. I can say only this... here and there... I am introverted in some ways...medical tests, family drama, the world just being insane around me will make me need to withdraw temporarily. Nor do I have a will or drive to hurt another. The slate is being wiped clean...this is what I mean by going forward. I need to be somewhere else and to work on that. Someone else, close, was getting a barrage of shit... they got sick because of it; I got some, accidentally vented all of it without bullet points, confused some, accidentally caught myself reaping a whirlwind. I have to take responsibility. For this I am sorry. I cannot call as the phone used to do so is pretty much a brick.
As for whatever emotional crap, I checked that out on purpose... wanting an answer. The physical was and is influencing the emotional, as it can and will. That's for me to work on and learning on doing so without withdrawing completely is a good idea.
I am working on getting answers and solutions, and keeping up my will and drive. Other things will have to wait.
As for creepy old men and the Sudden I'm In-Betweeners? No. Just no. Not happening.
When I say I want to go forward, I mean to do so without taking that all with me.
And when I said, originally, I wanted time, it was time to recharge, as I do. Not to plot a mean trick. Simply that. I never intended to shove, or fly off handles or hurt. I never intended for the general to be taken personally.