I blog gluten-free

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

It's The Cat's Scat

Coffee from a cat's behind is not such a new idea. Let me explain this:
In some parts of the world, the people are, to be polite, bat-shit insane. (No scat puns intended.) These wild cats eat coffee berries, like the caffeinated goats of the nascent period of coffee. Unlike the goat-herds, who simply realized "Hey, that shit wakes you up! Good!" and ate and later drank the coffee themselves, without a trip through the entrails of a goat, these loony-birds collect and clean caffeinated cat-shit. (Think about this...in some foreign factory, some poor fucker is cleaning cat-shit for whole beans). Then, with a high mark-up, they sell the shitty coffee, and dumbasses frolic and pay through the ass for what is essentially, cat feces in a cup. With that rich, mountain-grown coffee flavor. Juan Valdez, be not proud. I am ashamed at times to be a coffee drinker. Cats are nice. Sure, I prefer dogs, but I like cats. But for the love of all that's holy, I am not about to feed a little cat coffee beans, and then comb through drek for undigested coffee beans. I'd like to say, ignore this, it'll go away... but sadly, there are suckers who will shell out for novelty, and because, hell that shit's gotta have quality. Here's a link. If you drink it, you will not be kissing me anytime soon. Serve it to me, and I will throw up on you. Then I'll have a cat shit on you for good measure.
(Scary- I only had to type C-A-T-P and I had 500 results pop up. Shudder. Damn you, google!)
Paying Out the Ass For What Went Through A Cat's Ass
"Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"
$400 freaking bucks a damn pound! You've got to shitting me! (Pun FULLY intended.)

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