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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Dear Mom, Take My Advice

Dear Mom,
We are not living in the Middle Ages. It is a new world out there--- O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world! That has such people in it!- The Tempest, William Shakespeare
Mom, don't let the wear and tear of taking care of another sick person- first, Dad, and me, and all the people you do home health care for, and Wayne, with his Parkisons, racism and increasing dementia steal your joy and take away those things you're interested in. You- take care of you. YES, YOU. Last year, you had my kidneys, my issues from my illnesses and the anxiety from D and his family- and Wayne, and Grandma, first her apparent return to health after her first round of chemo, then her increasing dementia, and then her bout with terminal lymph node cancer. I am here- I worry about you- because you hurt yourself, and there is nothing, at times, that I can do. Take time- read, write the cards you send that are so rare in this world and so lovely to see, give yourself time to mourn, let Wayne's nurses do their job. Oh, nurse... oh, doctor... oh physician, HEAL THYSELF! Don't tell me that I can apply this to myself--- JUST TAKE THE ADVICE YOU' VE GIVEN!
Do not let those who say your prayers go unanswered because you "live in sin" hurt you. Mom, I'll tell you this... I'd rather see a million good relationships, legally and church-sanctioned or otherwise, where there is love, faith, hope, honor, and mutual respect, then one more marriage of convenience, where people hate each other, but yet, consider it a holy union. Marriages of convenience, of desperation, are not convenient in the slightest. As a divorcee, I am the last person who can give, particularly a widow, marriage-or-relationship advice, but I can tell you this: I know what NOT to do.
Dearest Mom
To thine own self be true.
The world can spin without you for a while. Cry where you need to. I'm a shoulder if needed. Laugh.
Dear Mom, I love You. Goodnight, to the old lady, whispering "Shhh..."


  1. I love the little dear...even when she's up my butt about something :) So I do my darndest to find her good news where I can...something to make her smile. In the meantime, she's trying to make sure I don't miss out on anything. If she retains her sense of humor, she'll be just fine! :)