I blog gluten-free

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

It's My New Pink Button!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! What the fuck?! I could- if I didn't know that someone would scream as loud as I just did- probably do an entire talk show on this.
Trends In Vaginas.Or, er, INVOLVING them.

Are you dissatisfied with the pinkness of your sweet lil' lady- flower? Got that "not-so-fresh" feelin'? Well cry no more, pretty lady! Grab that douche bag- NO- not him!-yes, that. Ok, now, you're getting ready to go, right, Sally? (Dumb girl with vacant look nods head excitedly. A cow bell rings with each movement). Well, Sally, now that you smell like a field of flowers again, why not actually put back the pink?"
"Oh, but how?!"
Blandly happy baritone announcer: "Get My New Pink Button", and easily put the pink back! Choose from such shades as "Pristine Pearl" (for the virgin in your life) "Raging Rouge" (for the harlot) or "Vampy Vermillion"- (feel free to send me your names. I will be mocking this.)
And if you have toofers in your vagina, just know, getting ANY lipstick on your teeth is SUCH a fashion no-no!
Edit: A new shade name is "At First Blush". :)

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