I don't remember the last bits... or, rather, I do... but those pale in comparison to the spry, sprightly woman I know... who had her newspaper, her coffee, perked, the old-fashioned way, on the stove, thank you, very, much, as the drip coffee "tastes like shit" (I still smile... so ladylike... but here and there, you managed to sound like a truck driver! And then you beamed as sweet and innocent as you please...)
You had your card games, your slightly off-color jokes, you needed to get out and travel. You had your perfumes...
The new formulation of Miss Dior smells nothing like I know, Grandma... I got a whiff.. I remember it on you, strong, dry, sweet, with a hint of something...else. My nose didn't know sexy yet. You wore "sexy" perfume. I just knew my grandma.
I've moved, Grandma. So many times, I picked up the phone, dialed that familiar number... "Grandma! Let's celebrate!" I remembered my first taste of wine, both sweet and dry, out of your hand... and I remembered...
Grandma, it gets better...day by day. I know, in a way, part of you is still with me.
I know you're better.
I miss you.
I love you.
Happy 83'rd birthday. It took me awhile. My heart, my mind... aren't at rest just yet. I love you. I always will.
|Bad camera...blue in sunlight. Me, squinting at sunlight. Grandma, before first round of radiation.|