I blog gluten-free

Friday, June 22, 2012

The Wisdom of the Small

On one website I click onto, mostly to distract myself or to find something interesting, I found a list of 50 things to do--- that are, actually really lousy things to do and obviously written by a cynic. I also found an article on survival books for children and realized that if I had to have just one, I'd get the boy's version... as the girls' is basically a guide to gossiping efficiently and teaching your cat how to sit (I'm not kidding). While I have not gotten my hands on either survival guide, I did pop across another article on amazing things one can do with feminine hygiene products.
The only piece of advice I'd follow, from a list that doesn't take its' advice seriously, is to countermand the usual question that one gets when one gets a tattoo (Oh, Lord, I'm using the Royal "We" and "One"... blast!) : "What will that look like when you're 60?" is to perhaps, celebrate my 60th birthday by doing what I did on my 18th.
50 Fun Mistakes "Every" Woman "should" Make?

Let's remove ourselves from the land of the cynical

1)There will come a time, when dealing with people who think they know it all, where you will feel like giving them a taste of their own medicine. I recently had a moment where, I was going to speak said person's language and say "Fuck off!" Instead, all I can say is : "I love you. I respect you. But I am not going to make myself sick just because you obviously know it all. I would rather be healthy (At this time, I can say, minus sarcasm, I am the healthiest I've ever been.) than be right. Sometimes, in anger, I let myself sound syrupy sweet... think Glenda the Good Witch. I won't do that. Except, if I must, ask, "Pardon me, sir, but do you mind if I vomit in your general direction?" I am not a celiac because it's trendy. I am not going gluten-free because it's trendy. I am a celiac because that's how my body works. I eat gluten free so I can survive.  Indeed, I have to deal with making sure I have all my calories in order, and am eating properly, and having to put in more work. Would I, with my sweet tooth, be able to pass up my old favorite muffins or a piece of cake if I didn't have to? You bet your sweet bippy that answer would be no. (What I'd do to order French toast or not stare at that fat slice of red velvet, while attempting not to drool...or cry. )  So, no syrupy sweetness, but jumping down a throat and giving hell would be bad too. So, I'll smile and say, "In this world, there may be indeed people who enjoy hyper-emetics (I'm trying not to sound gross), and while that is not my idea of a party, to each their own. I'd rather sort myself out and feel good, and get what I can from what I can eat."

2)Is there a reason to be cynical? I don't want to know what I'd miss if I thought that nice people wanted something, everyone had an angle, and beauty is passe and artificial. And that, it's better to be hardened and cold than to leave yourself open. I'd prefer to be able to be wide-eyed and wondering, and wandering, as much as I can.
Perhaps it's just that I can't think cynically. I'm aware there's darkness, people who are charletons and cheats. I also know that I don't know how to be, and could not be happy if I were to adopt said behaviors.

It's a strange path, I guess. And I'll have moments. And fears. And more. But I am better than I was in November 2009. I have learned, I don't look like someone hit me in both eyes any more, my hair has a shine, my skin has color. I am not camping out in the bathroom or feeling oh so very sick and so very tired anymore. If you think I'm giving that up, you've got another think coming.

Also: Taking lists of immature things to do to heart may well cause more problems. Learn to take care of yourself, learn to be happy with a little--- be happy in small things. I have gone, in a space of 2 years, from a borrowed futon, a couple of blankets, and an ancient stuffed skunk, to what looks like the beginnings of a fuller, more "grown up" space... I am beginning to thrive. Be happy in small things, or you will not be content when you have much.

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