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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Finding a Center

There's an absolute in life: If you go to the ER with a fever, they will find you clocking in at 97° F. I've got test results and then more appointments tomorrow--- (after which, I will be treating myself to more graham crackers and those absolutely delightful Rice Dream chocolate bars- while I don't have issues with dairy, I found I liked them very much during the "No dairy!" fiasco---) today, I really got struck down by "new symptoms" (Not so much, apparently they kind of got glossed over during the "Throw Pills at Her and See What Sticks" fiasco) and one hell of a reaction. Problem is, we have no clue exactly what made me sick... I am currently attempting to rest and take it easy. I started a bi-monthly talk with a priest, Reverend Jack, who talked me through "Centering Prayer"... on a day when I really needed it. Basically, sit. (Er... I'll try.) Ok, now, try to think of nothing, and let distracting messages blip past, sort of like we do those "weekly emergency system tests" that blip across on the television. Try to think of nothing. Well, I've been working on it, but I'll start with a focus of sorts... the rosary bracelet comes in handy for twitchy people, and go from there. If I manage to clear my mind, I am certain that at least one person will feel absolutely obligated to throw a party! I am notoriously bad and I think (heh) that if I say "I was thinking..." there's a little bolt of terror that goes through people.

Today... Murphy visited me. The day before I go for results, and the time when I go for a B-12 shot, but my doctor is on vacation, everything hits me like a sack of bricks! Spectacular. I am capable of speech, typing (have texting convo going with sister who is at an Episcopal Youth Conference... talking wouldn't work at this time), and am attempting to eat when I'm hungry, if not radically adding calories, which I am consulting a nutritionist on, at least helping me, and working so I am good and tired, because I am going to have to be up and at 'em tomorrow. Have yet to discuss caloric issues with Mom, but she is a suspicious sort and I think she suspects. Am attempting to figure out what happened so I can get back on track. But I am definitely a mess. But thanks to Reverend Jack, a slightly calmer mess.

I'll kick this.

PS: I think Centering Prayer may well be our version of the Buddhist-- without the "Ohm..." but I'll see.

I am going to just enjoy the quiet, of sorts.


  1. anything that allows to to relax and focus is a good thing. remaining calm is important..

  2. Yup! No sweating the uncertainties. It's time to rock. :)