Monday, June 18, 2012
I Wish You Peace, Only Peace
There is a certain type out there who can't accept that sometimes, someone may wish to take time to sort through their problems, and that they'll return any missed messages and calls later. I don't have the time, energy, or indeed, the health, to begin to sort through things I considered both sad, because there was no closure, no capability to see eye- to eye. I suppose I could make myself available to be contacted via Facebook, but I'm not there too much, and frankly? I offered, in recorded message form, an invitation to meet me at a local fast food restaurant. I don't wish harm, I have no anger. I have things to sort, and am doing so. I do not need to be afraid that I have someone watching, currying favors, and carrying information to others. My number hasn't changed. Nor have I. I do not change to please people. I am who I am, and tough titty if it's not good enough. I wish no more than blessings and a happy, peaceful life. I have the memories, mostly good, and while I have regret, at this time, I know moving on and improving is what's best. I will not snap and repeat things that were said to or about me, nor make sarcastic comments about those who stick their noses in. Yes. I had and have love. That made last year hard. Because all I wanted was time. Time to sort. Time to heal. I am getting it, I am doing it. I will not allow myself to be bullied into letting people close that seem to need to judge, to have a villain for everything. I do not hate, but would find myself uncomfortable and sick if I had to deal with all of this alone. I wish nothing more than blessings and peace. Period. Instagram? What purpose is following me on Instagram? "Beth found a daisy today," "Beth bought a dresser". Big news. Impressive. I will not say I didn't screw up. I did. I also trusted too much. I am sad for what was lost. I am also attempting to move on. Forward. Not back. I cannot be afraid. That would go against all I am working on. But keep watching, if you must. Maybe I'll do a trick.