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Saturday, July 9, 2011

Stick a Fork In Me...

This week was a week of "I can't take anymore! Look, I'm sorry, but I'm exhausted--- if you have the urge to forget all the lessons a sweet lady gave in 60 years- love each other, family is everything,- and literally build fences to the land, separating yourself from the last surviving members of Grandpa's family, plus have fights with our opinionated great aunt over things that probate should be worried about alone, then damn it, do you realize- the stupid pecking, in-fighting, and what not---are hurting people? I cannot be leaned on- I need to lean. This is horrible, and painful to see." (Look, you are all opinionated nutcases, but family is family. Grandma taught love and care, and patience. Apparently 60 years of teaching was for naught. And over money?! And other stupid things? What the heck are you people thinking?!) I am too irritated to look at it as anything less than "I hate when people fall apart, and knowing there's nothing I can do is killing me."

I chose to take a few steps back to think-here is where I land myself in a pickle--- I have got to rest and care for me, but I recall that last time I felt the need for a break, I handled it badly- I got angry and used sarcasm in the wrong places, told people off and was vague about it... I rather prefer telling people off in person in whatever capability... but confused people, and myself and well, the fires grew high. I didn't handle that well. But I learned from it. But I also knew there were some things that needed to be said, or questions that had plagued me. They got answered, so there lies a blessing.

But St. Lawrence reminded me of the benefit of humor, even in pain.
The story goes:
The government told the young priest to gather up all the treasures of the Church for the failing economy. He did so, all right...selling the expensive metals, and giving the money to the poor. He then gathered up the poor and brought them before the powers that were. "These are the treasures of the church", he said, most likely biting a tongue. The powers that were not only weren't amused, they were inflamed. They grilled Lawrence... literally. His last words apparently were, "Can you turn me over please? I'm done on this side."

Can you turn me over, please?

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