I blog gluten-free

Thursday, June 30, 2011

I'm Not Your Bloody Kleenex!

In taking time off to heal...because frankly, in most situations, my body was there but my brain might as well have been shut down like a computer and I went through numerous sets of Imitrex injectors for migraines that followed, and well, everything had begun to grate on me, I accidentally shed people I cared for, but frankly, made my heart break- (Hence-take time to find new stress relief, learn who I am and work on making changes stick)-
I'm still a little shaky and heart broken... I have been trying, (Too many causes for grief in a short period, with no time to heal between them) but I cannot as of yet, pull myself out of a shaky cycle. Things that don't usually bother me are terrifying me. I haven't been able to shake illnesses... revenge of the PCOS- (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, which, along with endometriosis, I had surgery done to relieve symptoms in 2002) has really shaken me... some days I cannot move to go get a glass of water without pain- has come and gone since March. This and nightmares don't help me in the slightest.

And to know--- I may have to tell someone some harsh truths. Someone has changed in a bad way... become demanding, insolent, insulting... unrepentantly refusing to see anyone's humanity... and thinking it's ok to insult. (Please note: I do not use names. However, in this case I am discussing a male figure.) Not being seen as a human, tossing an insult- a kiss and a smack is the way any conversations go, and wondering why I get uncomfortable, and thinking I will function as a personal Betsy Wetsy. One reason I have not been able to even think of visiting with them since December. And as personal Betsy Wetsies go, dude, I had no idea you were into water sports! (Ahem: Taking that literally is not the point intended. Here, Betsy Wetsy stands for "live doll" as Kleenex can stand for any type of disposable nose wiper as well as being a brand name.) That too... I am not a Kleenex---don't just talk to me because I'm convenient and "so sweet, I can say anything" and then acknowledge me only if you need to vent your spleen negatively.
My sarcasm filter, a life-saving device, is up. A brain to mouth filter is slowly dissolving, and I may get blunt. I am attempting honest, polite reasons as to why being around them is not an ability. Sorry, no, I don't have any desire to go to a Styx concert, no, I don't want to be alone with you... and the way you discuss a friend- a good friend who has supported everyone except herself makes me ill. How's that for brutally blunt? You're making me sick, and your smack and a kiss conversation method makes me ill. I don't take that from anyone. When you go to AA, aren't you supposed to practice humility, by the way? Dude... go back and read the manual.

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