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Monday, October 18, 2010

On Strength

Every so often, someone says to me, "You're so strong, I'm not nearly as strong as you." I always bite my tongue to avoid saying "Believe me, you don't want to learn how to be strong the way I have!"
It's really all quite simple- when handed lemons, I like to make lemonade. I prefer to add sugar, otherwise lemonade is just shitty. Ok, maybe not so simple, I guess. I don't know how I've become an example to some people (including 1 I tend to look up to myself in some ways)- I guess we don't ever know just how we appear to others. In many ways I find myself- um... can I use gobsmacked here?-
because often I don't feel nearly as strong as I apparently am/appear to be. I learn how to live in my own weird world, I suppose, because laying down and letting myself die, doesn't make a lick of sense to me. I can't do it. Among lessons I picked up on quickly, was "Never give up hope-but get up off your ass and do something in order to make things happen."
On Hope itself :
The darkness might conquer, but it could never extinguish hope. And though one candle- or many-might flicker and die, new candles will be lit from the old. Thus, Hope's Flame always burns, lighting the darkness until the coming of day._ From Dragons of Spring Dawning by Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman
Sometimes, you have to let the hope of something die. In some way- and my poetic side is coming out here- a phoenix will rise from those ashes. There are some things you just can't help others with, or do for others- they have to do and think for themselves. You have to learn to say "WHEN!" when you are being hurt, by someone you are trying to help. Pride can be helpful, but remember that it also goeth before the fall.
(Go-eth? Awkward, much?)
I'm not always strong, believe me. I have as long a way to go as those who are charmed and admiring of my gallows humor and apparent strength. I have to learn how to lean. And to do that, learn to trust.
I leave you, by telling you this:
"Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."_ Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh
Good night, and God bless.

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