I Don't Have The Right Part of The Elephant

I'm probably going to land myself in a bit of hot water, but so be it.
Life Lessons, Part One Millionth
1)Practice what you preach!
I have a rotten habit of babying people, particularly the stubborn (like me) or those who are more than content to sit in their own shit. I will tell you to take care of yourself. To be true to yourself. To love yourself, and so on and so forth. The words "OK, call me when you get home so I know you're OK" have trickled from my mouth before I could stop them. I will tell you to wear a hat in winter, not because you'll lose heat out of your head, but because keeping your ears warm just makes sense. And I will mean those words, but have a rotten habit of not actually applying them to myself until given a gentle order to do so.
2) Diplomacy: The art of telling someone to go to hell and having them more than delighted to do so.
Now, someone can ask me: "Well, damn it, why can't you see things from my perspective?" and answer it thusly: "Well, I'd love to, darling, but I can't get my head that far up my ass." Why, yes, that'll smooth things over quite nicely <End Sarcasm>. Granted, I do occasionally have this retort on the tip of my tongue!
Or, I can recall this:
Six blind men were asked to describe an elephant. One had his leg, and said it felt like a pillar. Another had the elephant's trunk, and said the elephant felt like a rope. Another had the elephant's tummy and said it felt like a wall. The back, a throne, the ear a hand-fan, and the tusk, a lead pipe. Now, each only had 1/6 of the elephant, and so while all were right... not a single one had the whole picture. So, in answer to the question on perspective, I could say "I don't have the right part of the elephant" and just smile and confuse them.
3)No matter how rough you have it, somebody, somewhere's got it worse. 
"The other day I was sad because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet."
Or, as a celiac, because my biggest diet staple is rice (I'd be starving without it!)- I can say honestly, "The other day I was sad because the Cheesecake Factory is the Eighth Circle of Hell for me. Then I met someone who was allergic to rice." (I am not a celiac because I pretty much live on rice, but you get the idea. I accidentally reversed cause and effect.)
4)Be kind to yourself. It's never too late to learn. Love you. Yes, Love Yourself.