I let someone get to me... and blamed myself for their actions. I apologized for even daring to doubt them. I punished myself- allowed myself to break a huge promise to myself.
Rene Descartes said,
I think, therefore, I am.
I think- I can do better. I have passed through hell many a time. I can forgive me. I think- that I am strong, I am resilient. That I have much to offer, and can and will do so. I made a promise. And I will, hell or high-water, make it stick. For me. I will not punish myself, for the bad behavior of others. I will not distrust my gut, even when I think I could not possibly be seeing what I think I see, or that I must be hearing wrong, it is what I do, or that I must have water trapped in an ear.
So, Hi, Me. You screwed up. Ok, what now? Good morning, starshine. You have the will... and I forgive you, Me. Go and sin no more.