Just Thinkin' ...

When it comes to faith, you need not push it on anyone, or preach... but attempt to live... and live it. If it means that you look weird, so be it. If it is simply a coping mechanism, so be it.
A little quiet, a little time to think, can be awful... or can be used to heal. Right  now... I have medical procedures to recover from, calls I've avoided making because I am a bit sad and it would feel awkward. Because like faith, you don't push sadness onto others.

In some ways, I feel better--- I still have had a few too many shocks and weirdnesses to sleep easily (and so, at nearly 2AM, I am up watching Alfred Hitchcock Presents? Sheesh, perfect for nightmares, isn't it?)

All I know is, I needed "down time"...since I downloaded "Family Tree: The Roots" by Radical Face a few months ago, and finally uploaded it to my iPod, I've been curled up, listening to that and to Beethoven. And reading bits of a book that uses Beethoven's journal entries. I think it's interesting that increasing deafness pulled Beethoven further from society of others, and into himself. His own hell. And yet, he took Goethe's opus, of a man named for fortune, who, when misfortune struck,  sought to get whatever he liked via a diabolical deal, hurt those who loved him...  and yet, Beethoven turned it into something quite heavenly.

And thinking. Anyone who knows me knows that thinking is probably not a good thing for me to indulge in, but I think I needed it.

Yes, I did take time, between Good Friday and Easter, to be quiet, to pray, yes, for Lent, I refused meat on Fridays. Not to preach, and not so I could "get" something... it simply felt natural and right to me.

My "thinkin' " gave me:
I: Don't hurt yourself, or others, to achieve what you want. A short-term happiness will be paid for with a long-term sadness.
II: Listen to your gut, not a bunch of "You shoulds" and "This is how it is," "This is how everyone does its"... if something feels wrong, it is because it is wrong for you, despite the shoulds, hows and everyone-does-it-s.
III: If it is right, do it. If it is wrong, do not do it.
IV:Sometimes, we disappoint others. We'll foul up here and there. If people turn their backs, they were not right for you in the first place. Someone who truly loves will not do so.
V: Lies, even if everyone-does-it- will serve only to hurt in the end.
Who cares, in the end, if someone practices old-fashioned, or odd ways of dealing... or whose faith is perhaps a bit strict (which they impose on themselves)--- the important thing is: Walk the walk. Talking the talk may not be needed. Show it with your actions.

May I find patience, and may I learn to forgive... myself.