I blog gluten-free

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Dear Gloria Steinem...Lick Me

You've come a long way, baby!
Newport ads aside, we sure have. We're not barefoot, pregnant and waiting to surprise Ward with a pecan pie on a hot summer day, are we? Or sneaking a whiskey (neat!) while finishing housework, all to put on a big, pretty smile and be the sweet, retiring wife who smells vaguely like lemon where no lemons should ever go! No! We don't douche with lysol, try to be ladylike, and wear obscenely cramping underwear anymore! We are liberated! (Sets fire to bra.)

Ok, in the past century or so, we've gotten the right to vote, to show ankles in public (Oh, my!) to think for ourselves. We are not just pretty things that go nicely on a man's arm. Oh, goodness no, we can think and decide for ourselves as humans, not pretty pets.

It is good that we no longer douche with Lysol and that we do have an ability to think and decide. But we are responsible for our behavior. If we do something wrong, sorry, can't blame it on men...we did that ourselves.

So, a basic run down:
1)Some people, men included (I know, this is shocking!) still open doors for ladies and the elderly. Don't complain. When was the last time someone did something nice for you? Take it with a smile.
2)Do not emasculate men. Yes, we are all powerful, men and women alike, and for varying reasons. An emasculated man is a shell of hatred, fear and hell fire.
3)If you say you're going to do something, do it. Period.
4)Follow Marcus Aurelius's advice: If it is right, do it. If it is not right, do not do it. This means: Do not hurt others, even if you yourself have been hurt. Period.
5)Be kind to people, and not because you want something in return
6)Ladies, men are not bulls. They're not just there to inseminate and shit, don't put a ring through their noses.
7)Guess what? The world doesn't revolve around you, and you are not a special little snowflake.

As always, just because I feel rotten: "Have a happy period... ALWAYS!" *Ducks flying projectiles*

Here, just read this- read it, enjoy, hate me, whatever. Or learn from it. Beth's Self-Help Book


  1. Bravo young lady!!!

  2. Thank you. Still don't know WHAT possessed me. :)