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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Bethglish-To-English, Part, The First

I tend to speak a language all my own... has been affectionately referred to as "Bethglish", a portmanteau of "Beth" and "English". You'll most often find these showing up unexpectedly:

Bada Bing! (Start low- ba-da and lift voice for BING!) also, the strip club frequented on the Sopranos. This is generally accompanied by my hand making a gesture near my head reminiscient of the cartoon "IDEA!" moment. Gru in Despicable Me would grin a bit and intone "LIGHTBULB!"

Bing, bang, bong: Etc, etc, etc. You'll find this when you tick off a long list and wish to shorten it to go to something else.

Bloody: a useful adjective, used in place of certain cusswords, unless I really get going. I typically prefer gee, golly, goshdarn, but occasionally will mix levels of profanity, leading to "Well, I want to kick them in their goshdarned ass!" (It's not just me, XKCD did a comic on this very subject--- XKCD: Curse Levels )

Eh: A most useful word, depending on tone, you can say something is boring, greet someone, show approval, or say that at this moment, you are incapable of further speech (please offer caffeine!) These are only a few of the uses for a most useful "neutral" tone.

Man-Stink: Not to be confused with "Oh, for the love of all that's holy, you smell like something crawled up you and died. Will you be so kind as to shower?" No, this is a good thing. I have a sensitive nose. (You should see me in the detergent aisle or around cheap wood glues!) Let's make it clear, everyone sweats. Yes, you, Percy! Every now and then a sharp, clean smell and a little sweat (think Pert Plus and natural (ew- I feel weird saying this word, it's as bad as "moist". Bad mouth feel!)-musk. A sharp clean mix of shampoo, a little natural odor, soap. Hard to describe, beautiful to behold- will make me smile. Nicer still? Being able to bury my head into the crook of the neck to smell it... and this leads us to...

Maternal Swoop and Sniff: My mom, and many others, does this without knowing or thinking about it. The back of the neck has this certain smell. I call it the natural "Freshly Washed Baby Smell". Basically fresh shampoo, soap and clean skin.

No- Means exactly that. For the longest time I was teased that I didn't know the word... I do, it's just about as difficult for me to say as Habakkuk (Old Testament prophet). But if I say it, damn it, I mean it.

And that's this edition of the Bethglish to English Translation Guide, please let me know if there's more you'd like me to define.

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