I can spend time analyzing... feeling bad that I can't quite manage to say what I know needs to be said correctly.
Why worry about silly little things... when I've dealt with the big ones? If I stopped doing what I was doing, whenever people told me "You can't..." I'd be standing stock-still, a 5'5" pillar of salt. (Which, of course, would be great if people were having margaritas-- no more looking for that lost shaker of salt.)
Timing has been damn ugly. But stressing over a chain of bizarre and- let's face it- if I think about it, I have to laugh at myself... rather silly little things. Yes, sometimes, things DO get to me. That's what a good walk is for. Or cooking, or going off grid. (Not, however, letting my cell phone go dead. Bad mistake.)
Sure, there's people in the world I'd rather not have around me... everyone does.
But, it's dark enough---this month, we'll have the darkest day of the year, with the shortest day and longest night... and in the dark, it's better to give light.
I've decided... I'm thinking happy. Because, at least as Rene Descartes said, "I think, therefore, I am". (Cogito ergo sum--- it has a nice swing to it. )
I will not, however, allow people to hurt because of me. It is not fair, it is not right.
The time is NOW... to be a source of light. To remember where my priorities lie. And laugh at silly little things that in the big picture, really don't matter. To quit slapping on a smile, and actually BEING joyful.