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Sunday, May 20, 2012

A Return to B-Movie Sundays

Sometimes, it's good to take some time off... so I'm re-instituting my favorite tradition, the "B-Movie Sunday". However, I must say, anything in the "Ilsa" category will be strictly off-limits to me now. Never in my life would I think of a "Love Machine" in that particular context, (Yes, a dildo used to inflict pain... I have no idea why my "Gee, I'm curious... Ilsa Keeper of the Harem of the Oil Barons sounds like fun!" guided me towards that decision) and the Sleepaway Camp films, particularly the original and Angela's startling reveal, were perhaps bad ideas. Pandemonium, however, was kind of adorable... and the Paul Reubens in the mausoleum, finding one of the films' killers and one of his victims (The killer tended to turn his victims into furniture. In one case, a former looker became a dresser. He (Reubens' character) opens the drawer, sticks his hand in. What are you doing? he's asked. "Oh, nothing," he dithers. Finally "I'm finally getting my hand in her drawers." "You pervert!" And Carol Cane was adorable.
(Also: Nice reference with the Susan Hayward moment. A warden is shoved into a gas chamber, to be overwhelmed not with cyanide, but with the results of a fat man and too many baked beans. I couldn't help but laugh at the melodramatic "I want to live!" moment, originalized in 1958, when a cause-celebre prisoner dies at last in California's gas chamber. Perfection.) So, I guess I need to find campy, not freaky that I'm not ready for... or thinly veiled porn with a vague plot. (Ilsa also struck me odd, as the character has the poufy platinum hair, skimpy clothes, and I Dream of Jeanie lashes. For a second I thought it was Barbara Eden with a bad German accent and said "Well, there goes MY childhood.") Yeah, like my reading material of late, it's time to find fun, silly, sweetly horrible, and perhaps smartly sarcastic. And save revenge tales and "Beautiful bitches turned into "Chicken Ladies" for another day.

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