The Zoo

I didn't understand death when it first came my way. But I understood right enough when I was told "We're going to visit Grandpa"... then sat in a room, staring at a box? It never struck me that that was the visit. But... every time I was told "We're going to the zoo!" I'd perk up immediately. And then, for some reason, amuse everyone by pacing anxiously in front of the gorilla enclosure, occasionally looking up to say "Grandpa, is that you?"
Later on, I was told that a gorilla at the zoo had taken an immediate dislike to my grandfather years before. Cute baby goats to feed and funny chimps... the zoo is really creepy to me now.

Bethy's Guide to the Stars

Horoscopes tell you really general things. Taking them at face value can be an exercise in frustration.

But... fear not!

I present--- horoscopes for real people!

Today, something will happen. What happens after that depends on how you react. No horoscope in the world can tell you if Juan will finally bring you that conflict-free diamond the size of a doorknob- or if Juan will love you forever. No horoscope will tell you "How about you get off your butt and start living, rather than letting the placement of stars, moons, and planets run your life"? It should perhaps warn you: "Horoscope writer has woken up within the last hour and has not had caffeine yet".

*Warning! These are for entertainment purposes only. I am not responsible for bizarre skin reactions, strange emissions, or other unforeseen side effects. I am two sips into a coffee. Let us begin!

Sagittarius: Try living for today, without the advice of someone at a laptop, typing out general advice that may or may not come true.

Capricorn: My sources say *Not now, you guys! Keep the noise in that UFO down!* : It's not what happens, it's how you react. But that's for you to find out, not a caffeine- dependent lady somewhere on the Eastern seaboard to tell you.

Aquarius: I could crack wise on water-bearers. But along with gifts, you need to try to search for balance, or this weather could drive you insane

Pisces: Ok, gentle souls: get off your ass. Live. Neptune may be currently having an orgy with Jupiter, or you could simply be stuck reading vague advice meant to apply to the lowest common denominator.  Go do something. I'll wait.

Aries: Try to keep your temper cooled. Locking horns with others helps no one.

Taurus: Sometimes, being bull headed hurts or can even kill.

Gemini: Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

Cancer: The tendency to act crabby may get to you. Go for a walk. And don't let arbitrary advice from a snot tell you what you should do. Mars in retrograde should not effect your life.

Leo: Sometimes, we need to let our hair down and roar as mightily as possible. There's no shame. What IS shameful is living your life because you're afraid of making decisions without cosmic babysitters.

Virgo: sometimes, a little childlike joy or innocence is a good thing. Don't get all strung up on being an adult that you lose your joy.

Libra: Balance is needed. Too much noise, or too much quiet is not a good thing. You need both.

Scorpio: Poisoning others with a bad mood is wrong. It's ok to be sad or angry... it's natural. But hurting others with said attitudes is not.

*All advice can apply equally to everyone. My tongue is firmly in cheek.

'Tis the Season

Even in the dark, the small lights allow for a beautiful shadow version of this. :) 

This is the season of perhaps two hours of usable light a day. Stress. Darkness. People going nuts, and some, indeed finding the part of themselves that says "Screw everyone else!"

It's getting colder and darker. I am not jinxing myself by discussing the weather. (KNOCK ON WOOD.)

This is the season of joy, of miracles.

I've seen miracles---and they do outnumber the pain. Let's find that part of ourselves that says "I forgive you, my brother", to those who deserve it. "I forgive you," to yourself, who needs it too.
There is a need for light in the darkness.

Light and darkness cannot exist without each other. Too much of one would be blinding. Too much of the other would be heavy and stifling. And unbearable, like having Andre the Giant sitting on your chest.
There must, absolutely be balance.

You know what? It's time to get out of my head. Time to just enjoy, to remember just how stinkin' blessed I am.

Find peace, find something beautiful, in the darkness.

Americans Elect 2012

Americans Elect 2012 | The first direct presidential nomination:

'via Blog this'

A chance to be more involved--- not twiddling thumbs, but figuring out not only where the candidate stands, but where YOU stand. Before you hit the voting booths, educate yourselves.

Cogito Ergo Sum

I can spend time analyzing... feeling bad that I can't quite manage to say what I know needs to be said correctly.

Why worry about silly little things... when I've dealt with the big ones? If I stopped doing what I was doing, whenever people told me "You can't..." I'd be standing stock-still, a 5'5" pillar of salt. (Which, of course, would be great if people were having margaritas-- no more looking for that lost shaker of salt.)

Timing has been damn ugly. But stressing over a chain of bizarre and- let's face it- if I think about it, I have to laugh at myself... rather silly little things. Yes, sometimes, things DO get to me. That's what a good walk is for. Or cooking, or going off grid. (Not, however, letting my cell phone go dead. Bad mistake.)

Sure, there's people in the world I'd rather not have around me... everyone does.

But, it's dark enough---this month, we'll have the darkest day of the year, with the shortest day and longest night... and in the dark, it's better to give light.

I've decided... I'm thinking happy. Because, at least as Rene Descartes said, "I think, therefore, I am". (Cogito ergo sum--- it has a nice swing to it. )

 I will not, however, allow people to hurt because of me. It is not fair, it is not right.

The time is NOW... to be a source of light. To remember where my priorities lie. And laugh at silly little things that in the big picture, really don't matter. To quit slapping on a smile, and actually BEING joyful.

The Laundry List

I will start listening to my gut.
If I do not need old paperwork, if I come across it? Bring on the marshmallows...  it's time for a bonfire. otherwise, seeing some things on that moldering paper... will affect me in ways it shouldn't, stunt my better reactions, and leave me open to being triggered.

Sure, I need to walk and just heal...especially after busy holidays. Dinners with my mother? Bless her heart, they leave me on edge for days. Because moms are like that. Holidays are crazy, no matter how easy you try to make them. And sometimes, being quiet is what's best. But I can't forget to make sure I answer texts and the phone next time... I keep letting it go dead for too long, in an effort to just relax. Or... well, send an email "Going off grid" so people don't worry, so that no misunderstandings are made. Because no tears did fall this weekend... I enjoyed simpler pursuits. Including navigating a store from front to back that sells grosses of bandages, among other items. a little shopping (New music was really needed.) I had a few shocks...those---well. They happen. Sure, maybe it would be best if I could vent more... I hold back. But I prefer the simplicity, the quiet, the peace. If I could, it might prevent a triggering episode... thought I was beyond those.  I'll save those. Or join a gym again.

That people got hurt, with the biggest culprit being really shitty timing? Damn!

I've got... habits I thought I had nearly squelched to re-train myself to avoid. (Nothing involving tipping back too many-- old behaviors I used that I hated then and hate now.)

I've got to learn to let myself shake things off, like water off a duck's back. Some things I can't- won't. It's not me I'm worried about at present. I can beat whatever hurts... here, in life, in the physical form... I've done it before. But no, I won't be happy-go-lucky--- nor will I simply stand by if someone is hurting themselves. I do not, in any which way, want to be the catalyst for that.

Now? It's prep season. A miracle in the offing. Not wasting that chance. To be quiet, to be still, to think, to focus. Time to rest. To heal. In the end, the only thing getting to me? I see the pain... I'm not sure if I can help.

...And a Pickle In A Pine Tree

I don't know WHY this looks wrong to me.

Gather 'round, dear children, and I'll tell you a tale.
First things first: true celebrations should only begin with murderous intent in mind, not lead to it, but here we go.

German tradition is rife with tales of Bishop Nicholas, now Saint Nicolas. Also, tales that might make the Crypt Keeper's hair stand even more on end on Tales From The Crypt.
Three little boys leave home in the cold of winter, bringing with them gifts for the now-sainted Bishop, savior of would-be prostitutes and someone who still has me all these years later, still checking my shoes before I put them on.
They stay at an inn (All good Christmas tales start in that century's version of a Holiday Inn.)
The inn keeper is a nasty, greedy man and decides that he will keep the Sainted-Bishop's gifts for himself. So he murders our tiny travelers and pickles them in brine. (Another Christmas story with a bit of cannibalistic intent, check!) The Sainted-Bishop finds out and steaming, he goes to the Inn himself. Where he resurrects (with God's help & grace) the wee pickled tots. Now, many centuries later, fun-loving Germans remember the tale with the hiding of a glass (I hope) pickle hidden in their Christmas trees. (Which was another tradition we got from the Germans, courtesy of Queen Victoria, who surprise, was more German than she was English.)
The finder receives a gift, or a year of good luck.
Considering the shape of pickles, this one might be best for the Feast of the Circumcision ... of the Young Frankenstein.