If you keep saying "I want more money" you will always have exactly that: the wanting of more money!
It's no different than when you tell yourself "Don't forget to buy milk, don't forget to buy milk", and you get home from the grocery store with everything BUT milk. Energy flows where attention goes; so when you focus on forgetting the milk, that's exactly what's going to happen. Tricky, yeah?
This is one of the greatest concepts that Neale Donald Walsch introduces in "Conversations with God". Energy flows where attention goes. Just be grateful for what you already have and you'll have more of it. Namaste
I've been trying to heal myself. I want health, I want a sense of peace. I want to be understandable! I want to quit looking at conversations the way I look at the episode of I Love Lucy, where Lucy gets arrested for passing counterfeit money in Paris, and with Ricky trying to bail her out, and a Spanish drunk translating the excitable gendarmes' words back and forth, it ends up being a convoluted game of Telephone. (Eugh.)
So have I, when trying for this, working so hard at it... been teaching myself to want, need, and bury myself, all while trying to teach myself to rest, so I can heal, rest so maybe there's not a sense of "Oh, damn, I'm cracking..."? Am I working where I should be "Letting it be"?
I know I have a lot of blessings. I know more are coming. But I focused on the dark instead.
Ah, but I do feel more peaceful. I'm now attempting to sort what needs to go, what needs to be said, and am fighting with myself. I want to be understandable! I am tired of fighting so hard, to realize it's still a convuluted mess. I'm tired of irritating my friends... so freaking tired of multiple translations!
But I've been forgetting to see the good, which is what I try so hard to do- and that's the thing-it's there, I shouldn't be trying for that.
The world is a mess, yes. But you have to let it off your shoulders here and again (I'm thinking of Greek mythology- not the Ayn Rand novel, Atlas Shrugged, which I've found is something I'll read, start agreeing with, and nodding slightly, and when the sentence is about half finished and I'm in mid-nod, I suddenly say, "Oh, my God! You jerk!"- I'm told that's a standard reaction.)
So I guess the trick is acknowledging the mess, the coldness, the anger, the hate, but not letting them become me. I am not the world, I am not balancing it on my shoulders. It has to speak for itself, I cannot allow those to mess me up. I can make the world better, and am doing so, in whichever way I can.
Health will come as balance is more realized. I will continue trying to clear my mind and focus. And peace too, although there will never be a perfect peace on earth. Until then, I'll put my energy on the good, and focus on healing, on prayer, and celebrating the good that's come my way.
Also? I need milk.
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