I blog gluten-free

Friday, December 7, 2012

British Engineering and Pearl Clutching

The Jaguar is a classic work of fine British engineering, and its smooth, flowing lines and sweet roar will be remembered fondly. Ford needs to be shot for killing off such a classic.

Ahem. If masculine eyes are now on the prize, a beautiful 1957 Jag, (Heck, I'd rather discuss the Jag, and I'm having a bit of a Jeremy Clarkson moment, for which, I do hope, I may be forgiven.)

This being said:

This is a new century. We are freer. We do say things our grandmothers and mothers would blush at. I'm known to be a bit shameless when it comes down to certain things, this I know. But ahem. One does not discuss one's feminine protection in inappropriate ways. You cannot expect a one-word response to "Do you use pads, tampons, moon or diva cups?" Anyone who does so, in a public forum, could not possibly expect a date this weekend. *Clutches pearls.*

I had to stop myself before I sent the following: "A couple of rags and a twig," instead of "Why?"-I should have known what I was getting into. I can understand a toxic shock argument, and didn't get one, instead I got, an hour later, a link sending me info I can get in any doctors' office (remember how very little respect I have for the medical profession) and four hours later, I got cramps. No, beg pardon. I got the answer, "Cramps". I understand that an epileptic's brain has unusual brain chemistry to begin with (Duh.) That once a month, said beleaguered brain may be further affected by that nasty Auntie Florence. But unless you're sticking your tampons up your nose, (and if you do, you're doing it wrong)-another one I tried to avoid sending back- that generally should be something between your gyno and you. I had to ask why... as my neuro being a ding-dong not withstanding, I've been asked regarding birthcontrol, as the anti-convulsants can mess with birth control pills, told to up folic acid, but never regarding cellulose and cotton based protection methods. Now... let me return you to your regularly scheduled programming, and let us NOT speak of this again. I need to go say about a few hundred hail Marys.

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