|if you're more girly than I, I pray for you, hombre! :)|
Hi, it's me. Let's talk.
I am all about taking care of yourself. If you're sick, please don't be stubborn...get off your ass and fix it. Last I knew, the Y- Chromosomed ones do adore solutions!
Keeping yourself reasonably fit? Go with your bad self. No, really. You don't have to be a big, buff, handsome guy. Having a personality truly helps. Please, have some brains, and not meat from the neck up.
Men are wonderfully sweaty, hairy, creatures. There's a certain smell I go for... the natural Man-Stink and a mixture of a clean soap and shampoo. You don't necessarily need cologne, and if you must use it, kindly don't bathe in it. This applies especially to Brut and Polo, which I remember with headachey clarity as a result of my brother and his best friend. Gack.
Embrace it. A good soap, some basic trimming, clean clothes, great!
One thing I adore about a lot of the guys I do allow around me: they tend not to behave like bitchy little girls. (If they did, I'd grace them with a look to make them feel as though they've been measured for a coffin.)
Caring about calories? Ok, good. But kind of shaky territory. One thing I notice: people on diets tend to get these superiority complexes. Don't be that asshat. I'll have no choice but to give you a stinging tell off. (And it will hurt me more than it does you.)
BE A MAN. OWN IT. Don't be a huge asshat, but for God's sake, if you act girlier than I do, honey, you've got issues.
Finally, the Y-Chromosomed Ones among us seem to be becoming vain. Stop that! Bad!
1)If you are doing excessive grooming (I don't think too kindly of a man who sculpts his eyebrows, for example. Points for allowing hot wax on your face though. But um... to me, the trimmed, waxed look is a chick thing, cowboy.)
2) Diet Soda. Oh, for God's sake, boys. Yes, it's manly to drink something that tastes like liquid tin and count calories.(End sarcasm?) Guys, this is a girly-girl, stuck in the 50's type telling you "Pull your head out of your ass. Are you freakin' kidding me?" and the ads for diet soda for men are nothing more than a boyish version of that godawful liquid tin in a bright pink can, Tab (Eat less and he'll love you! Fark off.)
Gents: If you insist upon drinking that 10-calorie liquid tin: OWN IT. Dressed up diet soda advertised for the fuzzy and sweaty among us is just that.
A diet soda is a diet soda is a diet soda. Aight?
So, gentlemen? I understand: you can be smelly, fuzzy, sweaty, a bit machismo, and perhaps hold a lot of pride in oozing with testosterone. Awesome! Enjoy!
*Everyone: IF you insist upon drinking liquid tin, then please do not use it to wash down large fries and a triple bacon cheeseburger. It's kind of defeating the purpose. We live in a beautiful world. Enjoy it. Screw the artificial. Taste it. Love it. Live with it. And don't deny yourself. If you're feeling tubby, go ahead. Please take care of you. But don't become a raging ass hat.