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| The list of pickle puns goes on... :-) The pickle and the pepper went out to sea in a beautiful, pea-green Mason jar... |
Seizures can and will act like a case of cystic acne on prom night, which... notes for Alanis Morrisette, is a lot of things:
1) A terrible coincidence
2)Positively annoying
3)Frustrating, when you know bloody well that you've got this thing... and can't do it right now, and kind of feel... imprisoned again.
But not bloody irony.
I'm well versed on my triggers.
Are there signs and auras ahead of time?
Once again, this is different for everyone, and not a perfect science, but some signs have shown up enough times to be a good clue that something is rotten in the State of the Beth.
1)Walking and tripping over my own two feet. Seriously, it's not all that comfortable, either.
2)My "Bethy, Bethy, Quite Contrary" mode. I'm usually pretty easy-going, sometimes to a fault, and have a bad habit of responding, "Ohhhh... suuure!" to things like dealing with the unpleasant, etc. Here, I become unpleasant, even for myself, which leads, quite wonderfully, to exchanges like,
"Beth, aren't you going to buy hummus and cucumbers this week?"
"I hate Wegmans, I wanna go home, and I hate cucumbers." Imagine this in a vaguely tipsy tone.
So a pretty good way to tell if I'm just being a giant klutz, (if you have a wall, I've probably bumped into it, sleepily apologized to it, and wished it a good morning. See also trees... I have a tendency to be a tree hugger, partially because I'm trying to avoid walking into it unaware.) is "Do you like cucumbers?"
It's quite a lovely, pickle-y, cucumbery conundrum.
3)Sleepier and a lot less cooperative. I never like to say the word, "can't"- my father treated it worse than swearing. I might find myself sounding like a kid who doesn't want to do their multiplication tables... irritating myself in the process.
(I was taught to be a nice young lady--- sometimes, avoiding that can be good for me! But heavens, I was taught to be stubborn, too!)
4)Confusion of the sort that leads to tears and apologies.
5)I kind of end up wondering, "Why would these people want to be around Fitsy* McGee?
*Note: "Fit" and associated terms are on a list of unacceptable terms. Then again, so is "epileptic" in the "Person First" nomenclature. This is hard to find in the spur of the moment. The biggest issue is not a love for gallows humor, it's that every day, strange new language seeps in, and the appropriate language ends up being hidden under "You can't say thats" and "Why would you discuss" and "Is there really so much to laugh at? I mean, do you take this seriously, at all?'s".
The answers are:
1)I have to
2)Silence kills
3)Yes. Not if I can help it.
If I'm going to run in the free air, I'm going to have to leave a few things behind- shame, what people expect me to be, to make them comfortable. Also, this apologizing thing. Sorry, not sorry.
