L'Esprit D'Boudoir

Sarcasm saves. Without it, I'd have been a worse mess a long time ago. But it's a double-edged sword, like anything else.

The French have a nickname for a prickly situation---when you pass someone on the stairs and you come up with a smartassed remark when it's far too late to do anything about it. They call it, Le esprit d' escalier - the spirit of the staircase.

I have a somewhat similar situation, and a new entry for the Bethglish to English Dictionary.

L'esprit d'boudoir
That moment where, when you are sleepy, warm, happy and safe, and dozing off, to be rudely snapped awake by any of, but not limited to, the following factors:

• Oh, my God, what did I say? Oh...God...
• They say at the Acropolis where the Parthenon iiiiiiiiiiis...
• Rabbits have two uterine horns, capable of giving birth to separate litters of kits days apart
• Boudoirs aren't bedrooms, actually, as any Downton Abbey watcher will tell you. It's a private sitting room before the master bedroom.(Yes, that has cropped up.)
• A sarcastic remark lost on a lot of people... (the Holy Wild Geese tale explains this)... after once again teaching someone to read a map... "So, have a goose, a goat and some ghostly knights shown up, yet?"
• Notes for doctors. All of which I take pains to edit after a bad night. ...and so much more. I'm working on teaching myself to relax and focus while the rest is in turmoil... I figure I'll handle that better if I can. 
  
   It's a busy mind, but I'm trying to work on that whole focusing thing. So far, still using fake stars and a rosary bracelet, and a free app called Insight Timer... I'm hoping I get  there. I focus, I do the decade on the beads. I know this---I'm sure as hell not giving up. I've rebuilt so many times, laying down and accepting is just not in me. And now... to settle. 

Live Long and Prosper

Sometimes, you get that feeling that, being one of millions aside, having been silent for so long, having heard so many questions, seen so many crackpots, undergone tests upon tests... that sometimes, you just... don't quite fit.

I said sometimes, I wistfully wish to be normal, forgetting a lot. I mean, God... I enjoy a lot, and I learn many interesting, useful things, find new tools to work with, find many things that help myself and others, and enjoy laughing at so much, even that which, some may say, shouldn't be laughed at. (I have a certain response for that.)

A few weeks ago, I put forth a theory that I may just be an alien, that somehow, my parents brought home a baby extra-terrestrial. It explained never feeling quite "there" in loud places when everyone else seemed fine, always feeling like escaping at family functions "Uh, I think we're out of soda..." needing to recharge longer when it was loud... sometimes it seemed that conversations were screamed around me... and sometimes, if people got too close, it took days to recuperate. (I realize now, that while I like people, I simply get my energy from myself. I'm working on outlets.)

I was joking, after fixing an issue caused by my light-colored eyes (it was something that bothered only me, I'm a wee bit picky.)  and a camera flash, and playing with an "alien" filter (the anime was too freaky... too much bugged out artificial eye, too much blush, too much everything... shudder.) that my theory on being an alien, though was not quite off the mark. And it explains affinity with stars and my love for sci-fi.

I tried to do this in purple, in honor of the month, but it just didn't work.

Live long and prosper. :-p

Poodle Skirts, Saddle Shoes and Beehives...Oh My!

The Rookie has some gorgeous satire (the blog background strikes me, as it reminds me of something from my mom's mid-to-late 60's high school yearbook.)

How to Be A Lady "rocked my socks" as it were. It does help to know what sarcasm is, otherwise, heaven help you.

How To Be A Lady, Rookie Mag

Tip 1:
The only non-sarcastic truths from this tip on grooming would be
A)Wash yourself and your hair. You, everyday, your hair, every day to every other day, depending on texture.
B)If you like perfumes, find a signature scent. I like light florals, the clean stuff. But I'm working on a display for Grandma's perfumes (If this is wrong and I've accidentally given the title of a porn flick, then let it go, it happens ALL the time.) From her "Evening in Paris" perfume, to her "Opium" and the unopened bottle and box of Miss Dior. Which I'll put next to my own, Pure Grace. Try to make your own signature scent. Which means, get to know yourself.

Tip 2:
Everybody pees. Among other things. If you know there is no hiding that you are a piddler, then have some fun. Stock your water closet with good cooking magazines, books, whatever. I find Twilight comes in handy when I run out of toilet paper. Since I'm in there so much, with kidney issues, I'm seriously considering putting a disco ball in there. Gives "Do the Hustle" a whole new meaning, does it not?

Tip  3:
Clean, neat clothing. If you happen to have hips that cannot hold up pants: BUY A GOOD BELT. Also, go get measured. TRUST ME.

Tip 4:
Study. Try to learn as much about the world as you can, including the gory stuff. But...don't forget to LIVE. A bookworm can find themselves to be rather terrified by the world if they're not careful. But remember that your experiences will not be others'. Just because one person had the shot at being rebellious, etc doesn't mean that the person who is scared of their own shadow and of acting up is wrong. Don't think that if you've experienced it, everyone has to.

Tip 5:
Sometimes, "Get bent!" can come in handy on dates.
Eat the way you must for your health. Trying not to eat in front of people, or worrying about what it looks like you're doing (I happen to like whole, salted cucumbers. At one point, we were at such a clean part of the Baltic that it was possible to snip off cucumber tips and dunk them in the water...cold and salty-- yes, it looks like I'm doing untoward things to Shrek. I don't care!) is really silly. Food is there to nourish and be enjoyed. Screw "What must it look like?" and just freaking dig in.

The Granny's Liver Convention Section A: Rights & Responsibilities

I received a challenge, and well, I've never been good at turning a challenge down. So, accepted & answered...and hopefully I can use this task to check my oil as it were, and see where my priorities are, which is usually what I use challenge games to do anyway. I am compulsive when it comes to that- I need to work my brain!

So Ron... you're on!

"Let’s have some fun with letters, but not just any old letters, this is about YOU. I took this from my old MySpace blog, from a couple of years ago. Before that, I had played it on one of my friend’s blogs on Live Journal. If you want to play, ask for a letter. I will select for you a letter, and then you will respond with 10 things that have special meaning in your life that start with that letter. They can be favorite movies, your kid's name, a hobby, a philosophy, something you're interested in; anything, as long as it is something meaningful or interesting to you.

Of course, I don't intend for you to simply name something that starts with that letter, but also tell me what it means to you, or why you like it or find interest in it.

Rules:
You can't choose your own letter.
You don’t have to play, but if you ask for a letter, you must, in return, play!
Are you ready? Let the Letter Game begin!"
 Ask, and I'll randomly grab a letter. I'll be nice and stick with the 26 letter English alphabet!

I received the letter L:  
so, here goes!

• 1-Lorelei: my very first love :) Always, baby, always. Come what may.
• 2-Learning: If we quit wanting to know what we can, quit looking deeper, not just letting people tell us what to think and believe, we will wither and die. Ask what the Pope wears under his robes. Ask why. Never give up asking "Why?" We will never know how the world works exactly, but we cannot allow ourselves to become so jaded we give up our curiosity.
• 3-Loving: Love those you love no matter what- you don't have to accept everything, no one can, but try to love humanity for the imperfect species it is, and because in spite of it all, damn it, there are still good people out there, and the whole is not tarnished by the few bad apples. Keep a few close, but be kind to all. And love yourself and accept your own limitations, too!
• 4-Limits: Know and express what you can and cannot handle, so you don't finally break and scare yourself and others when you finally reach those limits. (Don't be like me and bite your tongue only to snap "I can't take it anymore!")
• 5-Letting Go: It's painful sometimes, but it can be a life/ sanity saver. Sometimes, you have to struggle and cry a bit, and let go of something that doesn't feel right or hurts your psyche/heart , so you can heal and be free to accept good things. 
• 6-Liabilities: Above all, you are liable and responsible...for your actions, and to yourself, ABOVE ALL. You will have to deal with yourself, when all is said and done, and answer to yourself.
• 7-Living: You can exist: breathe the air, feed your belly and never enjoy or feel anything. Sure, you'd be existing, but you have not lived until you've tasted something because it was good, not just because it was healthy, or did something that might be terrifying but that you ended up enjoying.
• 8-Longing: Don't spend time in an ivory tower---don't just let down your hair and sing "Rescue Me!" But instead, look forward to the future, we can all have a good one; and work towards that. Don't accept ruts and downward slopes, seek to rise above them. And do something about it!
• 9-Liver: I don't care how persuasive your loving granny is. If you don't like it, or just can't tolerate it, don't eat it. Learn to say "NO!". This applies to any food, or any situation, really. I dub this, the "Granny's Liver Rule."
• 10-Life Preservation: Be there for others, BUT: Do not allow yourself to sacrifice yourself for something you know in your heart is wrong. And while you must think for yourself, if you can see someone flying dangerously close to the flame, do not let yourself get injured, but try to head them off. Ultimately, they must be responsible to and for themselves, as must you--- BUT... if you know that someone is hurting, human decency says that you try to alleviate that pain, not make it worse.
  

Bazonga! Great, Big, Blue-Footed Boobies, Batman!

Safe for work, honest... but I think these lil' buggers are adorable and I have to share.
These are blue-footed boobies. (Giggle all you like, even I did!)
The male boobie has smaller eyes than the female.
Aren't these the most adorable boobies you've ever seen? (Alright, get your mind out of the gutter!)

Country Matters

"Look to your own country matters, and let others pay heed to theirs." My little retranslation of a filthy bit of Shakespearian phrase... (Emphasize the first part of "country"... yes, pun intended, absolutely.) I use it much the same way people might say "People in glass houses..."
Where do I get it from? Watching and reading productions of Hamlet.
Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, and his rather dry and rather subtle cutting remarks.




HAMLET
112   Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
      OPHELIA
113   No, my lord.
      HAMLET
114   I mean, my head upon your lap?
      OPHELIA
115   Ay, my lord.
      HAMLET
116   Do you think I meant country matters?
OPHELIA
117   I think nothing, my lord.
      HAMLET
118   That's a fair thought to lie between
119   maids' legs.
From: Hamlet, act 3, Scene 2 author, William Shakespeare
Thank you to Shakespeare Navigators for the text.


In this case, he's asking if he can rest his head in her lap, but also reminding her of more carnal things.
In the famous "To be, or not to be" speech, Ophelia makes an appearance in mention.
"Aye, there's the rub" is actually quite filthy- Ophelia is under a table, unbeknownst to anyone else,
she is giving Hamlet a big hand, as it were.


So you see, you can be subtle with your filthy humor, or any, really. The idea is: "Let it smack the
recipient in the head- but after he/she is already mystified. You can get points across without being
horrifically obvious.


But, in conclusion: don't get your head up someone else's behind. We've all got tasks to do,
and things to learn... pay heed to your country matters, and don't get too upset if others are
attempting just that...but let them change and grow as nature will have them do.
And: Allow your own growth as well.
This concludes this broadcast of: "The Art of Being Politely Rude". Goodnight.
Cue National Anthem, if you please.