Say Something Nice Day

Tomorrow is apparently "Say Something Nice On The Internet Day"... (it's also a friend's birthday, at one point it was joked that she was the same age as her then-1st-grader). If you're around long enough, you know this:

• No matter what, someone will have an issue with it. If you're thin, no matter that you find yourself freaked out when bones poke through, or if there's illness, genetics and nutritional issues. You have to be throwing up or not eating. 
• If you're heavy, you're a fat bitch
• There's no such thing as subtext.
• A nice person wants something
• Remember kids! It's a new world out there and no one has empathy anymore, it's outdated. (I believe this is the Marquis De Sade School of Thought, but could be wrong) either way, I'm not giving mine up.
• Every six months or so, someone will pull the overgrown 6th grader route.
• No one understands this particular concept: not everyone has lived normally. Or had the same experiences as you. Thus, the brave new world some fight for brings new experiences.
• Apparently casual sex runs amok and people are shocked if you don't have it. But no matter what, you're a whore. Because, you know, you're not only of a particular build, but you crossed them. 
• There are times when you end up simplifying simply because you want to save the worst for those who you're close to.
• If men pay you a lot of attention, you're in trouble
• No matter if flirting visibly scare you, you're a whore
• Don't let anyone do anything nice for you, and if they do it without you knowing, God help you
• Oh, that's right, we're all supposed to be atheists now. 
• As for simplifying, while Occam's Razor is a lovely tool, it isn't 100%. For this reason, I kept that the last thing I remembered was going through an ebook format of something I'd used to write an essay, and that a severe migraine and stress from grief had knocked me out. In the interim, a lot of stuff happened, wires got crossed, no one could reach me, as I allowed my phone, a worthless 3" brick die, and I was the last to know, and quite scared when I finally realized what had happened.
• Well, I suppose, life is what it is. While I will not ever willingly ask for something, I will thank people who are kind. I also will do what I need to do. 
• I will not ever use sex, false promises, or manipulation to get my way. I've seen examples, and I didn't like what I saw
• How is it like to be facing my 40th? I have no idea, ask me in about 11 years. I missed bell bottoms, I thought everyone was built like a linebacker, and the hairstyles made poodles blush. 
• How's this for different? I was brought up by older parents, one of whom was literally cloistered at one point, and tended to know my doctors by their first names. While I'm very good at remembering things (even those that I tend to think of as a blurry Polaroid) I had to learn communication in all aspects after having many routes closed off. I'm not going to talk or write like anyone else. (I still recall an "apple-asshole" conversation with horror... I couldn't pronounce the fruit for the life of me, and my speech therapist wanted me to be speech only. P's were very difficult.) 
• I'm still facing down situations that helped me to be scared of my own shadow, and to apologize unnecessarily. I will work on that...FOR ME. I think the first was a large 10 year old when I was 5, who tried to get me to steal money for her from her mother's purse. When I refused, I was beaten. I was found later, walking aimlessly. The last, I still fear. It's still in the shadows. People being put into my bed when I said no to willingly swinging, having to make blueprints to move and leaving them with people I knew I could trust, people being reintroduced, hopefully to control me and my mind, being hit so hard I broke a molar, which I now have to undergo a root canal for? And being told "Learn to lie... no one is faithful anymore, everyone uses people..." no. Same place I lost a rib in. I'm still trying to bring back a lot, still having to pay off his bullshit, and still wondering, "where can I go?" I learned to try to placate so I could calm things down, then work on my escapes in secret. Not being able to talk to certain people, or go to the doctor without being stood over or dealing with a huge fight when doctors wanted me alone? (Because I made him look like an asshole)? Those, I talk to my doctors about, to work on the whole mind, whole body thing. And making for damn sure I'm fully cleansed of that. Time will heal, and so will I. I have work to do.

But, being as Say Something Nice Day is coming up: Those who lent their hands when I needed, those I've kept, even those I lost.. all are important for a number of reasons. Thank you. God bless.